Is my marriage over. When I met my husband, I didn’t know he was in a lot of debt until he tried to sell his house and the debt was more than the house was worth. In all the time we have been together 18 years he has never saved. I’ve had lots of conversations over the years about saving. Our finances are separate. He has always paid most of the bills, rent then mortgage, I used to pay him a small amount each month and paid my own bills, I was a stay at home mum on esa. Before we moved to this house I found out he was again in debt and this had to be added to the mortgage. The mortgage is more each month and I did question whether this was doable but he said he would be better off each month as he wouldn’t be paying back loans and credit cards. We talked about how we couldn’t risk getting into debt again with the mortgage been higher. He agreed that when we moved that he would work out all his outgoings, write them down and we would work out how much we could save a month for stuff like holiday, if something broke, for stuff the house would need. I said I couldn’t do it again where the house would stay the same as when we moved in for years, I was the one who paid for flooring, kids beds and other things because otherwise the house would have stayed the same, wouldn’t have been decorated, carpets wouldn’t have been replaced etc. four months down the line in the new house, he still hasn’t worked out his outgoings. Then I find today he is in debt again on credit cards because he said his wage isn’t covering outgoings. He said he didn’t tell me with me been unwell. I’ve been on sick leave from work because of my mental health since October. I said that if he had talked to me I could have sent him some money, for example our son has afrid and will only eat Mac Donald’s and that’s twice a day. I get dla for him, I said I could send him the money, the dla is to pay for things that our son needs. I did send him some s couple of weeks ago. I also said I could have seen about paying towards the bills. That if it worked out that he wouldn’t be able to save and I would only be the one able to save then we would do that. I’ve tried explaining that we are meant to work together. He has now said he will work out his outgoings, but I’m tired of having the same conversations, it’s not just this, it’s other things with our marriage. He just gets defensive when I try to speak to him. He knows I’m not happy with our marriage and I haven’t for at least two years now.
I feel if we had worked together in terms of of finances then things would have been different. I have nothing to look forward to for the future. I just feel it will carry on been the same, won’t be able to buy things we need for the house, even going for a meal together. My name isn’t on the mortgage due to my poor credit rating. I don’t have anywhere me and my two children can go.