To think it’s not normal and ‘just my age’ to be this tired?

[Pompomfloofball]

I’m 42.
I have to children - 16 and 9 and I work four days a week. I’m also a t1 diabetic which does possibly not help and my diet isn’t good. I take a multivitamin and B12.
I am absolutely exhausted - like all the time. I am now turning down things with friends and family because I am just simply too tired. On my non working day the kids say, ‘what are we doing?’and even though it’s the holiday I have to say - nothing. I need to sleep.
in the term time I have been spending my non working day asleep after the school run.

Overnight I get 7 hours sleep and I wake up just thinking about when I can go back to sleep. I’ve just been asleep for three hours despite not getting up took 9am today. When I’m working from home it is inevitable that I’ll fall asleep - even if I don’t mean to.
Im exhausted after a short walk.

I saw the GP and he basically said you aren’t 20 anymore and you’re in peri so what do you expect. He grudgingly booked bloods for this week for me.

I’m not overweight - bmi is around 19/20. I don’t smoke / vape or drink. My diet is sketchy - I am not interested in food because of being t1 possibly and I know I don’t have much iron or really any fresh food.

Essentially is it normal to be so exhausted at 42 that I cannot do everyday stuff and what I actually want is to spend all day, every day asleep. Even getting up and dressed some days is a huge effort and I’m exhausted again afterwards.

Am I just lazy??

Anaemia made me feel exactly like you’ve described OP, at a similar age.Simple enough to address - ferrous fumerate 3 x day - and quarterly blood tests to monitor improvement. I also had tests to eliminate coeliac disease.

Try reducing your carbs, drink more water, exercise a bit. Buy some iron vits. Get your HbA1c blood test results and see how well your diabetes is being managed

Oh my goodness, YES, being low in iron would make you feel this tired!
I’ve gone on and on and ON at my friend to get her iron levels tested. She has been pale and exhausted the entire 6 years I’ve known her and thought it couldn’t be ‘just’ iron deficiency that was making her tired. She finally went to GP and her ferritin was 12, which is the threshold of iron deficiency. So what I’m saying is you don’t have to be that iron deficient to feel REALLY terrible.

She’s been on iron supplements now for just a month and feels like a new woman. She is no longer the colour of an aspirin tablet, and has some colour in her cheeks and her eyes are brighter.

She’s angry she effectively lost a decade of her life, beasting herself through every day, with no energy to do more than the absolute minimum for her and her kids, when all along it was a really easy thing to fix.

Also, I have recently discovered that not only do heavy / frequent periods contribute to being low in iron, but being low in iron can make periods heavier!

Please do grip this issue. Obviously there’s other stuff to address, as other posters have commented, but the iron thing is pivotal. In your position I would be getting my thyroid checked too.

And when you start feeling better please come back and update the thread - I love a good iron resurrection story! 🥰

I would change your GP for starters! Sounds a right charmer!

It might be your diabetes. My son is type one and when his numbers arent in range he gets ever so tired.

I've had low folic acid levels and felt like you. Three weeks later, on supplements, I can feel the difference. Also after getting your levels better, would you consider HRT? If you start menopause under 45, with another health condition, it's advised that you do.

Umm you are tired all the time because you have a shocking diet - you are malnourished and borderline underweight.

You need to eat more protein and fruit and veg.

I was like this and turns out my ferritin was very low though B vitamins etc all ok. I buy ferrous fumerate from the chemist as it’s cheaper than the prescription, 210mgx84 tablets. 2 a day last thing at night and I felt better after about 2 weeks.

It’s definitely not ‘normal and just your age’ to feel tired all the time but it is entirely explained by the sub standard fuel you are providing for your body. Humans are not meant to run on only processed carbs, we need good fuel. Try eating a really wide range of vegetables. If you are in the northern hemisphere, it’s summer now, so the Perfect time to eat a really wide range of raw, chopped up salad and vegetables with good virgin olive oil and apple cider vinegar dressing. Good sprinkling of fresh herbs, too Delicious and very easy, no cooking involved so quick and easy

add some good quality meat, don’t be scared of healthy fats like avocado and the oil in the dressing.

try eating that way for a month and see what happens to your energy levels when you are nourishing not fighting your own body.

At least one reason for your tiredness will be the insulin washing around your body to process the refined carbs with very good nutrition to show for it. Try real food and watch the magic happen.

Then you can get to grips with any medical problems that are left. You might find with the right diet iron levels etc can settle down too.

OP, where is the nutrition? The fruit, veg, protein, healthy fats? Your body is a vehicle and you’re basically currently expecting to run it on minimal/‘dirty’ fuel.

You are a single parent with T1 diabetes and the most appalling diet I can recall seeing on mumsnet… you are essentially very actively cutting short your life OP in the long term, and certainly your quality of life in the short term.

For your children’s sakes, if not your own, make some changes. Quickly.

Hi OP I have depression and sometimes my diet is terrible too, I get things like Huel or Bol shakes for the protein, maybe this would help you too.

Not gonna pile in on the diet apart from saying it’s almost certainly a big part of the problem.
The obvious answer would be to have at least some of the food your kids are having. It makes total sense that you can’t face cooking beyond what you have to do for your kids so just cook more of that.
Add in Greek yoghurt and / or porridge with fruit and nuts as easy healthy snacks always available. And multivitamins! Not normally a fan of pills when a good diet should sort itself and it may eventually, but give your system a boost in the meantime.

I just want to sound a reasoned word of caution here - which is diet & vitamins aside - it is possible something more sinister is going on & so I don’t want OP to diagnose herself with her doctor & minimise everything down to poor diet & nutrition - as it is so easy to do so. Extreme fatigue - the type that prevents you from functioning can have other causes so please don’t let them fob you off due to the lashing you’ve had here about the quality of your diet. I re-read your posts & feel some sympathy - you sound on your knees desperate & as you say just putting what energy you have into literally surviving. If you’re in a sugar /carbohydrate addiction as well then you will be in the grip of that cycle which I too know how hard it is to break out of. And you don’t even have the mental energy required to think about food alternatives nor the further energy to execute it - buy different foods, change habits. That’s all incredibly difficult when you are as energy deprived as OP is. Yes it’s a vicious cycle when it comes to sugar /carbohydrate addiction & she does need to introduce healthier foods, but it may not be the only answer. So do please insist the GP thoroughly look at everything.

@Pompomfloofball how
are you now? have you managed to get any tests done? Am hoping you are feeling better.

It's definitely not normal. You must address your diet first, doctors can't perform miracles. You've been getting away with it for so long, but it always catches up with you in the end.

Do the bloods you’ve booked include thyroid function?

I came to ask same, I'm the same age but diagnosed hypothyroid about 7 years ago . I was so exhausted if I sat down in the afternoon I'd just drop off to sleep. I went for a nap one evening when my dh came home so 6:30 ish intended to get up but didn't wake until the next morning and that was with the meds . They help some but some days I feel they don't do anything.

You don't eat enough of a balanced diet, and eat too many carbs for a T1. You're probably anaemic and low in vitamins. Do please speak to your diabetic nurse/dietician and plan a more balanced diet. HRT might help you as well.

I'm 42 and just been diagnosed with pre-diabetes. I think there's something underlying it as nothing I've done would increase my blood glucose in the last few months (it should have gone down) but fatigue has been my main symptom. The type you're talking about where I want to cry as soon as I wake up. I've got a smart watch and aim for "excellent" sleep rating every night, which does help. It means I need to be in bed for 10 hours to get 7.5-8.5 hours sleep. Also the Placebo affect of being told I've had enough sleep is effective.
You also desperately need to sort your diet out. I've almost totally given up carbs, sugar and booze and eat loads of fruit and protein (meat, eggs, full fat yoghurt, nuts). I feel noticeably better when I do well with eating. Like you, I often still feel fatigued and lightheaded - most of the time I realise I've only eaten about 500 calories so I gobble some protein and it usually helps.
How you're feeling is not normal, but it is a normal reaction for someone who isn't eating enough/well and not getting enough sleep. We definitely need to look after ourselves better post 40!

Make sure the doctor also tests for low iron etc… I am 44 and was feeling the same, constantly exhausted (like bone-weary) and I was both iron deficient and starting perimenopause. I started an iron supplement, improved my iron intake through my diet and slowly started to improve. Your doctor saying “what do you expect in perimenopause” is poor form on his part really. My GP gave me some recommendations for phytoestrogens which have helped massively with the peri symptoms - soybean (including soy milk and edamame), coconut water, sesame seeds, chia and flax, salmon, nuts, avocado and olive oil. These have definitely helped. Good luck to you and do insist that your GP gets to the bottom of this. Take care

The T1 diabetes is hugely important here. I get that it sucks to manage every day.

What do you want GP to do since you won't help yourself OP, you just shrug at your bad diet (content not great and sporadic and exactly wrong pattern for someone with T1 diabetes). I imagine you wouldn't get out in fresh air for a little exercise/walk too.

Do you want magic pills from GP?

"What do you expect me to do?" was exacty what a consultant told a relative with T2DM, when he (the patient) said he wasn't willing to do any of the management behaviours appropriate to reducing harms from T2DM.

This!! You’re a T1 diabetic @Pompomfloofball you must know how bad this diet is for you. You are basically existing off carbs - do you have a blood glucose monitor? How are your levels?

Saying “but I’ve always eaten like this and been fine” is like saying “but I’ve always smoked and I’ve been fine until I got lung cancer” - damage is cumulative and your body is not getting any younger.

Time to take back control and improve your health and life! Your health care team cannot really do much until you start helping yourself. You don’t need supplements - you need proper food! And it would also help to start doing some light exercise like walking.

C’mom @Pompomfloofball - you can do this!!

I’d get a new GP. I’m the same age as you and similar life circumstances and yes it’s true I don’t have as much energy as I did at 20 but it’s definitely not normal to feel that tired all the time at your age. I recently lost a stone by switching my rubbish diet to whole foods & cutting out UPFs, I don’t know if it was the weight loss (not suggesting you need to lose any weight) or the healthier food but I’ve found that I’ve got loads more energy and don’t feel sluggish anymore like I used to (I was only slightly overweight) but i suspect it’s got more to di with the change in diet. I was also severely anemic when I was 18 and felt exactly like you describe. When I was put on iron pills it completely went away, so definitely get your iron levels checked