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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to spend 2 bloody hours putting my 2 year old to bed!

40 replies

GordontheGopher · 27/05/2008 21:18

ARGGGHGHGH. I got so stressed tonight I ended up shouting at him and crying. He was so tired but wouldn't go to sleep. Kept crying, wanting something, getting out of his sleeping bag, screaming. Ended up giving him another bottle which I am trying to stop.

Why don't they sleep when they are tired?

Am now on the vino. Thinking of purchasing this.

OP posts:

DirtySexyMummy · 27/05/2008 21:20

Leave him in his room, and he will fall asleep.

cazboldy · 27/05/2008 21:21

I just don't get why people get so stressed about bedtimes

you shouted and cried, and wondered why he wouldn't go to sleep? ........

windygalestoday · 27/05/2008 21:23

is it desperate that hes in his room??

i had 2 excellent sleepers but boy did i have a shock with ds3 he slept 4 hours out of 24 that was it! i let him stay downstairs its easier all round and i got out of the beddy bottle ........

pavlovthecat · 27/05/2008 21:25

I could have written this post *GTG, apart from the lack of alcohol due to dodgy stomach!

DD has been just like this recently, and we are still finding a way to deal with it.

We leave her in her room, and she falls asleep. At 11pm!

However, this evening, she screamed, coughed, I went straight in and she had been sick/continued to be sick all over me, cue 8:45pm and in the bath swimming the length giggling her head off!

So, no YANBU, I completely feel for you.

readyforbed · 27/05/2008 21:26

Completely understand your frustration - DS2 went through a phase of 2 hours every night, completely knackered me. Eventually started putting him to bed later (8pm which i do think is late for a 3 year old) and he goes down brilliantly (most of the time - occasional once or twice get up). Does this happen all the time? Might have just been hungry?

Cathpot · 27/05/2008 21:26

soooo hard, I find it very difficult to deal calmly and serenely with any shennigans after 7pm, having got to the end of a busy child focused day and it really needs to be your time at this point. Have a glass of wine and some crap TV now and then have a good think tomorrow about what is setting him off. Have you got a calming wind down routine? Can he have a beaker of water next to his bed? How verbal is he, would he respond to reward charts etc? Is he coming down with something? Hope things better tomorrow.

Original poster

GordontheGopher · 27/05/2008 21:28

Thanks cazboldy really helpful.

OP posts:

pavlovthecat · 27/05/2008 21:29

readyforbed - thats interesting, everyone says that DDs bedtime of 8pm is too late, but she has always gone to bed that time, without a hitch. And I wonder if us trying to deal with what might have been a temporary hitch due to teething/development spurt by trying to change her bedtime has screwed it up somewhat.

I certainly know I have tried everything including shouting and crying. And whilst I agree that does not work, it was not done to work, it was done through frustration!

Its easy to say you dont get it, if you never had a baby like it.

DevilwearsPrada · 27/05/2008 21:31

I feel your pain ((((hugs)))) dd1 was like that at that age I used to get so wound up in the end I started taking up a book to read and just ignored her if she started, after she'd had bottle and story there wasn't much else I could do. So far dd2 has been like that.

pavlovthecat · 27/05/2008 21:33

I tell what has helped, but hard to say if this is it, or just coincidence as it took a few days.

Bedtime lullaby playing softly - 17 songs. And she now has a nightlight which she never needed before. She asked for it one evening, and then kept asking for it, so we left her light on, she was happier and now we use a nightlight.

Original poster

GordontheGopher · 27/05/2008 21:34

Thanks to others by the way - is taking me ages to respond as MN is slow.

Probably don't have decent wind-down time.. will think about that. His language is good I might try a reward chart. I do worry that he's going to be sick if I leave him as he gags, but he never actually has been sick from crying.

Might drop his nap tomorrow and see if that makes a difference.

It was just so frustrating as he was so visibly tired.

OP posts:

cazboldy · 27/05/2008 21:35

sorry - didn't mean to offend, but was just what popped into my head!

I think it depends what time they get up, and if they sleep in the day, as to whether 8pm is late or not.

I have 5 dc

the 2 year old goes to bed at approx 8pm with the 7 year old, and the 8 year old, the 11 year old goes at 9, and the 1 year old goes whenever she seems ready!

pavlovthecat · 27/05/2008 21:36

GFG - Not suggesting it was her crying that made her sick should have made that clearer.

I have been sick today, so I dont think it was her crying, I think its a bug.

She has never made herself sick by crying too much!

readyforbed · 27/05/2008 21:38

pavlov - shifting it to 8 saved my sanity! As you say, otherwise he was up and down til at least 10pm and (call me optimistic) once I have put them to bed i psychologically switch off, so find it very difficult afterwards. If 8 was working in the past I would go back to it. IRO how late it is, the only way i can gauge is that he is fine during the day so seems to need less sleep than i would expect (that, and he does have the capacity to sleep until 9.30/10am on the weekend sometimes).

fizzbuzz · 27/05/2008 21:41

Dropping his nap may make him more overtired.

Dd has lullabies to send her off, woe betide if I ever try to change the music

pavlovthecat · 27/05/2008 21:41

readyforbed - DD lets me lie in until 9:30 at weekends too!

Although she has been waking at 7am recently, for about a week. yesterday, she woke at 7:45am, DH told her to go back to sleep as it was too early! I tried telling him for the umpteenth time that we are lucky to have made it this far with an 8am start and lie-ins from time to time!

Original poster

GordontheGopher · 27/05/2008 21:44

He's up at 6am so I can't see how 10 hours sleep (sometimes 9) is enough.

Will definitely try the music. He kept wanting me to sing twinkle twinkle tonight.

I'm not sure if I can do an 8pm bedtime - I'm so knackered myself I'm in bed at 9 which means only an hour to myself!

OP posts:

Alambil · 27/05/2008 21:50

How old is he GTG?

(sorry if I've missed it)

readyforbed · 27/05/2008 21:51

Ouch! 6am start is painful, I can understand why you are knackered. pushing it back a bit might (!) mean he sleeps longer in the mornings - but I guess you have to have the energy to try it in the first place (mine was sheer desperation). How long do you spend with him in his room before you leave? I find also with DS2 (DS1 is great about going to bed, but does get up earlier and in general needs more sleep) that he goes to sleep much more easily if I have a 5 minute chat with him before sleep (and after lights out). Have to be very definite when i am leaving though or he would have me there forever...

Original poster

GordontheGopher · 27/05/2008 21:51

Only just turned 2. He only naps for an hour and a half.

OP posts:

talilac · 27/05/2008 21:51

I too could have written the OP. I didnt shout, or at least not out loud, but I did at one point send a furious text to DH who is out at work.

The annoying thing is that only a month or two ago she was a fabulous sleeper - she used to ask to go to bed. Now its "tucky in" "cuddle mummy" "stay just a little bit" etc etc etc til I could scream. Plus when I do leave her she shrieks and shrieks until she wakes DD2 up. Bedtime routine now is no different to how its always been, really quite restful I think, so I can't work out whats changed.

Cazboldy - you are obviously very lucky with your DC!

Alambil · 27/05/2008 21:52

oh stupid me - just reread the title!!!

I am thick!

Would you do Rapid Return with him, or controlled crying (not sure that works so well on older kids)

My DS needs a lot of sleep - he goes to bed at 6.30/7 and gets up at 7 - I had a time when he was 2ish that he just refused to GO to bed - he needed to and he needed a LOT of sleep but the actual act of getting in and staying in bed was impossible!

I did rapid return and within a week, he was sorted and his moods in the daytime improved as he was getting the sleep he needed. Not every kid needs that much sleep, but it might be an option?

pavlovthecat · 27/05/2008 21:53

What is rapid return?

padboz · 27/05/2008 21:55

I just logged on and was thinking of asking a similar thing this evening. My two previously went happily to bed at 7. They're 1.5 and 2.5. In the last 3 months they've started shouting to each other from their rooms to keep each other up, ask for the potty, ask for a drink, ask for another story, ask for a cuddle etc etc etc. It feels like its come from nowhere - it was fine one minute and then we suddenly had chaos. I went from an easy 7pm bedtime to a 9pm one in one night and I have no idea what to do now

readyforbed · 27/05/2008 21:56

was just about to ask the same thing about rapid return?

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