Should I have just kept on running

[JuliaSaysHi]

running my usual route this morning - do this regularly. In the distance - zig zag path, I see a black figure. Bit strange as warm today. Definitely black hood but and think face was covered. I am never spooked on this run although it is a river path with forest on one side. I stop on the zig zag hill path thinking figure will walk past me and then I can run on deeper into the forest area. But figure does not come towards me - I assume waiting? At this point, I am frightened and turn and run back out of the forest area onto public path. I wait at the top of the public path and no one appears. Another lady is approaching forest with her dog and I warn her of what I saw - we both decide to stick to path. I now feel I may have just seen someone wearing black - but where did they go? Very strange and unnerving.

You did the right thing. Maybe he was completely harmless but why risk it. Ignore anyone who tries to make you feel guilty or like you over reacted. Thank you for warning the dog walker so you could both make decisions about your safety.

I agree. My distrust of men extends to all races equally.

Same. The man who decided to grab my bum as I walked home from work was foreign. The man who flashed at me was not.

You should read The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. One key take away (in my understanding) is that your gut/subconscious picks up on many signals that your brain doesn't necessarily spot consciously, and that feeling you get that something is off is a warning based on those tiny signals you can't explain. Listen to it, it's there for a reason. You did the right thing.

Always trust your gut OP.

I have heard The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker is worth a read 📖

Look at it this way - what is the worst that would happen with your two options? If you’d carried on, the worst that could have happened is you being attacked, but by turning back, the worst that would happen is that you don’t get your full run. As the first poster said, trust your gut.

@ducksinarow123

"I know people say trust your gut, but also consider your unconscious bias"

I feel for you and your son but how is a woman supposed to consider their unconscious bias? How can she determin whether a man is a possible threat or a kind, autistic soul within a few split seconds. A few split seconds that could in fact make the difference between seeing her own children again or being the headline on the morning papers. Her choices are few, especially in a country where violence against women and girls is at an epidemic level.

So no ones allowed to be afraid if someone's foreign? Don't be ridiculous

Thanks everyone for your replies. I know that trusting my instinct was the right thing. I have run this route many many times and have never felt the need to run back - PP, it wasn’t the black dress, I have run past many people wearing dark hoodies. It wasn’t the fact I saw them in the distance - near the wooded area, stopped expecting them to pass me, and they didn’t - that is strange. They just stood out and I can’t explain why. It wasn’t the black dress of the person, it was their behaviour.

I know people say trust your gut, but also consider your unconscious bias

When you are conscious that a man's behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable or afraid it's not unconscious bias, it's very conscious. I do not care what your son wears or what his race is, if he caused me to feel uncomfortable I would move away from him as quickly as possible. It's unreasonable to guilt women with an account of his struggles leaving the house, his feelings will never come before my sense of safety.

It’s never wrong to trust your gut, our instincts are there to keep us safe…

Should I have just kept running

No. You saw something that made you wary, and you took heed of it.

Had you kept running, you'd most likely have been fine. It was probably just a teenager who felt he needed to keep up his own personal style no matter the weather.

But there's a chance it wasn't. So you took the safest option. It's something we do all the time.

There's a level crossing on my route to work. Most days, once the barriers come down I could probably get me andy bike through it with a couple of minutes to spare, but I don't, because I assess the risk and decide it's not worth it.

You did the same. Trust that.