Middle aged couple on different pages re. intimacy

[Hsogjwk]

Dh and I have been together for over twenty years and are both 45. However, over the last couple of years it's like we've moved at different speeds. Am obviously going through perimenopause, and although am taking hrt, I still feel like I've entered a new Era. Dh on the other hand still feels like he is 30/35. We still have primary aged kids at home but I definitely don't feel 30 or even 35. Nor would I want to, Dh doesn't get what's changed and keeps pointing to our kids' friends parents who are 35 and says we aren't that different.

Things also haven't been the same physically. Am still rather touched out from all the years of parenting plus peri, Dh still wants to be intimate all the time.

It's like we are on completely different pages when it comes to life. Not sure how best to navigate this.

The book mating is captivity is excellent.
It was recommended to me and we both read it, it’s possible for ye both to be right and find a better way together. Good luck

45 is actually still very young. You should feel no pressure to do anything you don’t want to, but you shouldn’t be feeling like you are 45 going on 85. Can you do anything to help - healthier diet, more exercise?

I don't feel 85 but definitely closer to 60 than 30. As the kids are growing up, I can see how I need to invest more in my life, what I want to do and go back to my friendships and hobbies. But I have little interest in sex or intimacy.