What do you do with your evenings (young children)

[PoolTime345]

Somewhat lighthearted, I have no friends with kids to chat to about this. DS is 11 months. Until about now, I've been in survival mode. Terrible sleep deprivation (he's been a terrible sleeper since day 1), back at work when he was 6 months (I don't live in the UK so I had a short mat leave), breastfeeding and pumping round the clock etc.

Suddenly he's sleeping 😅 like, actual 12 hours. And I found myself realising 1) I have some energy (as much as you can after a full day of work and then entertaining the baby until his 8pm bedtime) and 2) I can't go anywhere. Like, for the next 15 years? I mean, we can, but we have to get the nanny (which we have done a few times but I don't want to overwork her) or we go out individually (which we do once a week). We have no wider family at all.

But mostly we're just stuck at home from 8pm. Surely everyone else is too? What do you do? I can't watch anymore TV. Even my phone is boring me. I exercise at lunch already. I'm too tired to do anything productive really. Also, I sort of read a lot for a living so the last thing I want at 8 pm is a book, well at least at the moment.

Are we all just sitting at home with some wine / tea until 10 pm?

Play a card game, board game or do a jigsaw puzzle. There are loads of good 2 player ones DH & I play, eg Monopoly Deal or Yahtzee.

@OutandAboutMum1821 yeah I said to DH I think we need to get into board games 😂

Honestly I just drink away my boredom. Not a healthy option. I need to be more productive. The chores are endless, I could educate myself or read, but I turn to wine. I need a healthier alternative.

There are lots of better 2 player board games ;)

make more babies?

we were just knackered but… rey and go out for a walk individually in the evening, or out for a swim or something…

@Lyocell we turned to wine quite often as a treat but I've started exercising now so have given up alcohol until DS' first birthday!

Get a hobby! I do a few things that I love doing. I sew, I used to make cards (not card craft, proper art/craft things), I do DIY (I'm limited what I can do but I enjoy it), I make other stuff. I also enjoy baking or jam making.

Sometimes I want to do something a little more active, so that's when I do the cooking or DIY. If I'm more tired, I might do some hand sewing in front of the TV.

I KNOW all of this might sound boring, so you have to find your own thing. But I can honestly say, I love getting a bit of time to myself to do some of my stuff.

I did a degree for exactly these reasons. Had some time in the evenings, couldn't easily go out, but couldn't spend any more time watching rubbish TV.

@chuzzlewitthechipmunk make more babies 😂 no way. This one JUST started sleeping a week ago.

I don't know if I can survive this level of sleep deprivation again. He slept beautifully for 3 weeks when he turned 6 months. Then he started teething. He has 10 teeth!! (including 2 canines). He has literally been teething almost constantly since 7 months. Except for one week where he had the flu and another one where he had hand foot & mouth. That was fun.

Learn piano - with headphones
Have a pamper session once a week, soak in the bath with face mask, full body lotion session afterwards

@ClawsandEffect do you know what, I have a knitting kit and book I bought in Covid, I might dig that out.

No idea where your time is coming from. I think mum friends might be a good focus. Gym. Maybe the odd date night and pay for a babysitter but I have never a moment even after bedtime!

Together? Board games, TV, gaming, just chatting in same room while we do separate things (he might be on computer while I’m speaking to friends on WhatsApp etc and we just chat).

Separately? I do yoga (I do my standard workouts during the day usually depending on childcare/how placid DD2 is being but evening is yoga or stretching), read a book, language learning, I volunteer out of the house two evenings a week, craft hobbies such as felting, watch stuff DH wouldn’t be interested in, listen to podcasts.

Ooh yes and lovely baths!

Writing, reading. DH and I started coop gaming (portal and 'it takes two'). I have been learning new software and working on an art portfolio. Catching up on work, we sometimes took it terms to go out with friends.

@TiredMummma we only have the one kid. DH and I share cooking/cleaning. Our house is small. There really isn't that much to do.... I tried making mum friends but I can't make friends solely on the basis of having a child at the same time. Also, once we all went back to work, we all got busy.

I quite like my friends friends, but their lives are SO different to ours now we have a child, it's crazy.

@doodleschnoodle oooh I love the idea of yoga. I do a lot of weights at the moment so I'm quite stiff a lot.

Someone gifted us these conversations cards which I initially thought were quite depressing (perhaps a hint that we no longer had anything interesting to say and needed prompts 😂) but they were great. These and some wine and you’ll fill up some of those evenings together in no time!

www.theschooloflife.com/shop/conversation-menus-card-set/

To begin with, I caught up on sleep, then spent some civilised evenings with some crisps and olives, a glass of wine and a book.

Then tried out new recipes. When it was spring, planted up a lot of pots with tomatoes, and other veg. A good baby monitor is essential. Yoga in the garden.

Then I had to go back to work, but it was lovely while it lasted.

You might find it’s a short lived problem. DS is 3 and sometimes goes to bed at 7.30 sometimes he won’t go to sleep so we’re in and out of his room for an hour or so. By the time we’ve had a shower, put the dishwasher on we’re ready to flop and watch some tv as we haven’t had a minute to sit down all day. I thought things would get easier as DS got older and in some respects that’s true but other things get harder and more tiring!

Mostly I waste my time on TikTok, but I read, walk the dogs (DP stays with the kids), do the food shop (ditto), read or watch tv but tbh I’d love to get a proper hobby. Just out of ideas (and funds 😅)

@PoolTime345my first was a terrible sleeper but we did get some sleep at 12 months… if someone had told me then he’d be my best sleeper (of three) I might have reevaluated my life choices!!!

If you don’t want a full blown yoga sesh, there’s a lady on YouTube called Mady Morrison who does stretching routines that are really good, she has evening ones that are really good to do.

Definitely card games, they can be as long or short as you want them to last.

21 or gin rummy are our favourites.

Err ds is 3.5 and I’ve been going to bed at 8pm myself since the day he was born. It’s blissful.

Mine is 2 now and honestly by the time we’ve done bedtime, had our own food, tidied away toys, done laundry and any other housework we might flop on the sofa for an hour catching up whatsapp and trying to maintain some kind of social connections until we’re both falling asleep!! How is anyone with small children wondering how to keep themselves busy?? I’m doing something wrong, clearly!
Generally if we plan to go out in the evenings it’s sadly not together. Although we live in the U.K. we have no family nearby