Why do some posters do this?

[newsflashhh]

I'm not entirely sure if this will make sense, but I'll do my best to explain myself.

Why do some individuals here feel the need to interpret what others intentions were? As in, what they meant to say or do? I've noticed this occurring in several threads, so let me provide an example.

OP - I made this comment to my friend that upset her, but I didn’t intend it to be hurtful. How do I fix it?

Poster - Yes, you did, you wanted to upset her.

OP - No, honestly, that wasn’t my intention. It just came out wrong, but there was no malice involved.

Poster - No, you made a hurtful comment, and you meant it.

OP (trying to reason with the poster) - Okay, I acknowledge that my comment was hurtful, but that wasn’t my intention.

Poster (unwilling to be reasoned with) - Yes, you did, you meant it in a nasty way.

I find this behavior a bit strange. I understand that people engage in debates, but these types of threads aren’t debatable really. It’s as if posters are dictating someone else's intentions and refusing to accept their mistake. Surely, the original poster understands their own intentions better than anyone else?

I can’t fathom having this kind of conversation in real life, where someone tells another person that they essentially don’t know their own intentions. I realise it’s a peculiar thing to focus on, but it seems to happen frequently on here and I wonder why.

Some people are naturally goady, it’s the internet. Other people project their own views and experiences. There’ll be a range of views on most posts. Scroll past the crazier ones.

Sometimes people know exactly what they’re doing, pretending otherwise doesn’t do them or anyone else any favours. It doesn’t always apply, but it’s definitely a thing.

Yeah it’s interesting. My theory is that these posters are used to only untrustworthy and hurtful people (in real life) so they’re primed to be sceptical of genuine intentions.

For lots of posters on MN, the goal is to be as upsetting and derailing as possible.
The ONLY way to deal with it as an OP is to completely ignore them. As soon as you see someone is posting on bad faith just literally do not reply.
I see lots of threads where the OP goes through stages - clarification, explanation, justification and then the jackpot, retaliation/anger at the goaders and once you start doing that they’re on you like a dog with a bone. Before you know it OP has responded 70 times on a thread only responding to people basically trying to wind her up, getting more wound up herself and not responding to any reasonable posters, pissing them off in the process, then tearfully or angrily leaving the thread calling all of Mumsnet horrible vipers.
All you have to do is just completely ignore them. Respond nicely to other posts. They escalate at first but if you’re just unrelentingly nice and reasonable and engage with other posters who are nice and reasonable in the end the thread will take a positive turn and the hyenas slink off to easier prey.
”Nice” and “reasonable” don’t have to mean agreeing with you obviously but it’s clear when someone is disagreeing and challenging you in good faith and with respect and when they aren’t.

It’s like the posters who say things like ‘you just don’t like her’ when the op is complaining about a friend. They think they know everything and are just gunning for a fight.

There are a lot of posters who seem to enjoy winding up OPs. They are as goady as they can be and when they get a reaction they keep on and on along the same lines, derailing the thread and upsetting the OP. It's deliberate.
The best thing to do is to ignore them. You can spot them a mile off.