To think toenail cutting can't hurt my son?

[Hmmmnmmn]

My son is just about to turn 5, has very big reactions to anything regarding his body. He tells me it hurts him when we cut his toenails. Screams and cries out that he hates us when we try to do it.
He has only just stopped crying a couple of months ago from fingernail cutting as he has finally realised that it doesn't hurt. We definitely do not cut them too short, we always make sure there is white visible and after we do cut them we ask if it hurts now and he always says no so it's just during the cutting itself.
I have experienced cutting nails too short and it hurts loads after so I know we are not doing this to him!
YABU - he is sensitive and it clearly causes him unknown pain so the solution is x,y,z?!
YANBU - it can't possibly hurt him if he is fine straight after.

To give you perspective on why I am asking he has always been a huge moaner about everything possible. Only just stopped screaming about hair cuts, he will moan about face washing, refuses to put face under a shower and always says no to blowing bubbles in the swimming pool. Hates taking socks off, was only brave enough to face paint on his 4th birthday, can't wear a jacket without holding his jumper sleeves when he puts jacket on etc, quite particular! He used to violently refuse using the toilet during potty training (would bite and scratch us right up until until he started reception then suddenly stopped when he realised everyone his age had to just get on with it).

Other than things relating to his body he is a wonderful, energetic and funny boy who can be a pleasure to spend time with. We always take a calm approach to him as we worked out that he gets elevated if we don't however we are firm and do persevere and get the job done rather than backing down.
Opinions welcome but please be kind!

My 16 year old still needs to be tormented into cutting her nails, she hates the feeling of it,

My 7 yr old now finds his nails being too long more uncomfortable than getting his nails cut so actively asks to have them cut. Up until he was 6ish I cut them when he was asleep if he refused when awake. Life's too short to fight about toenails.

It's clear your son has quite major sensory sensitivity. I'd suggest an assessment by an occupational therapist with qualifications in sensory integration, and follow their advice.

I feel for your DS! Now in my late seventies I still can't bear anyone touching or holding my toes, I'm fine cutting them myself, but no - I don't remember how my parents did it. I don't think I could ever go for a pedicure. Humans are strange creatures!

DS was always like this. He was much happier with scissors than clippers. When he was old enough to articulate, it was the pressure on the nail from the clippers that was hurting at the base of his nails. We just did it in his sleep for a while, then when we moved to scissors he eventually trusted that it wouldn't hurt.

Is it the actual toes that hurt, or could he be sat in a position that's causing pain?

I'm 44 and hate cutting my toenails. Haven't had a pedicure in ages because I can't stand them but last time I did, I cut my nails before I went so they couldn't!

No other sensory issues, it's just one of those things for me

Try a nail file, he can have a go then. It's a horrible feeling having your toes touched, I don't blame him.

Is he autistic?
If he has sensory processing issues extreme discomfort maybe, he might now know a word to describe that feeling other than pain.

I wonder if you can do it while he's asleep ?

It sounds like he has a lot of sensory issues, so it does feel like pain to him and he can't help it

Thank you all so much for each reply. I feel relieved to know other people have experienced this and now I have some things to try out which should help him feel more comfortable.

To those wondering why so much nail cutting is necessary is because he tells us his feet hurt in his shoes if his toenails grow long. We have always had to cut his fingernails every 5 days or so because he has been a pincher, scratcher, biter, headbutter since the day he was born so it was a must. Once I had to go to the eye hospital because he scratched my cornea when I asked him to hold my hand to cross a road or if he won't hold my hand I will have to pick him up.

I've tried to use a nail file and ask him to use one on himself, he attempted it before but he doesn't have the fine motor skills to actually do the job properly. Do some 4 almost 5 year olds have that level of fine motor skill??

Autism has never been brought up but ADHD is something nursery and school both independently flagged as a potential consideration because he doesn't stop talking, moving, play acting etc but he was turned down for a referral as he can read well and his education is not harboured by his symptoms apparently (even though he has writing issues). The school SEN are mindful of his progress though.

Cutting them after the bath I will be trying again, I had tried it when he was small but I found it harder to see where his skin/nails started ended and because he never stops moving I felt quite nervous because of it. He is older now so will try that again!

The thought of cutting them while he is asleep may be a good one but as a poster mentioned if he does wake up while I am doing it or realise the next day he will be very upset about it.. will think about that option though if it does mean there's no more tears!

The paracetamol before is also a great idea which will be the first thing I try out!

Because foot touching makes him jumpy I try to get him to put his feet flat down and then I try to cut them when possible without even touching the bottom of his feet at all.

Again thank you all, I really will try everything at this point!

I hate cutting my nails, finger or toenails.

If I were five, I'd almost certainly say it 'hurts' and not want someone to do it. In reality, because I am 45, not 5, I can explain that the feeling of having my nails cut is really really unpleasant for me, some of my nails will 'ping' back very painfully if cut the wrong way (nails with quite a strong arch to them). I HATE the sensation of the very sharp edges, I have to cut one then sand it smooth, then cut the next...

The whole thing is a sensory nightmare, and I am doing my own nails - it would be a million times worse if someone else were doing it to me and I had no control.

Listen to him - see if instead of cutting them, you could file them every day, see if he could file them himself if you show him how. Find a way for him to sit so you can see his nails but he's not got his foot twisted at an odd angle, or so he can see what is happening (often it is SO much worse if you can't see whats going on!).

I dunno. Brushing my teeth hurts my tongue.