Bit of background, partner & I have been together for almost 12 years. We have 1 DD, due to start pre school in September and another DS on the way, due in September.
I have struggled so much with low ferritin, morning sickness (throughout), working 26 hours, 3 days a week, and caring for our daughter who is suspected to have autism in the days I don’t work.
Because I’m employed and my partner is self-employed, when our childcare is on holiday/ or it’s term time (Monday - Wednesday), I have to take all the annual leave to cover. He says it’s easier for me than him as he’s often running the sites he’s on.
I have communicated so many times that I am struggling both mentally, physically and emotionally and I need him to either be home earlier than 5.30-6pm or take a day off in the week when I have had to take the whole week off.
I have said I’m struggling to keep on top of housework and I need him to be proactive in using his initiative. Eg when the washing basket is full, putting a wash on, when the washing is dry, fold it up and put it away. It’s ALWAYS down to me and he has admitted that he takes for granted what I do. When we had a heated argument about this recently he said “it’s as if you only do the housework to use it against me”, or he says “do you need a pat on the back every time you do something”. I said to him no, neither is the case but as partners we should support each other and appreciate what we do.
I feel quite sad about how he’s treated me during this and my previous pregnancy. He never makes me a cooked meal as if I don’t cook, we don’t eat.
He says I don’t appreciate what he does, but I totally do and try to support him as much as possible but I’m burning out, completely and fast. Every time I bring up in conversation needing support, he seems to roll his eyes and says “you never mention what I do do” or “can’t you just bite your tongue”.. it’s as if he doesn’t want to be held accountable.
I am so scared about our new DS arrival, as if my partner continues like this I mentally won’t be able to manage.
Does anyone have any meaningful advice please?