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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why I'm disliked?

16 replies

Tattttedup · 24/07/2025 20:28

By DH's brother.

We got along fine for a while, then we both had our babies at the same time. Both boys and 3 months apart very close in age. DHs brother got very nit picky when we'd go somewhere and be like My baby (would use his name) has that!!

But like alllll the time. Keep in mind I shop on the high street/supermarkets. I dont buy massively unique clothes. So yes theres a high chance shopping in high street stores and the kids are 3 months apart they may have the same.item? In DS's nursrry I've heavily labelled his jacket as its a zara one and there seems to be a child in every room with it!😂

Anyway. Weeks before I was due to give birth to ds2. DHs brother texts him kicking off saying I copy his partner and the kids clothes. DH said no bullsbit and didnt speak to him for a bit and his brother didnt even congratulate him when our 2nd baby was born.

Things have slightly repaired. But 100% feel the brother still hates me. I dont follow on social media but seen a family member tag him on a story, clicked the profile and irs obvious im blocked. One time it was me and him alone before other people came to the ta le for a meal.i said hi and he ignored me to my face?

He seems to be quite short and stand offish still. They have another brother and him and his partner deem to like me and I like everyone I dont have a problem with anyone

If anything its sad as DH and his brothers kid aren't close as no one seen eachother for a little bit and what over some same clothing?

Am I weird to wonder why im so disliked? For some similar or same items of stuff from like I say high street stores

OP posts:
OversharedsoNCneeded · 24/07/2025 20:33

Is your DH the younger brother? Had his brother always been jealous of him?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 24/07/2025 20:34

Is yours the younger baby? I know what you mean about supermarket clothes, quite often spotted kids in clothes the same as we had when they were younger. It’s not a big deal, but it sounds plausible that that’s part of the problem given that he actually said something about it. Honestly, he’s being ridiculous. If everyone else if fine with you I’d just ignore it and carry on. Sad for DH to be less close to his brother, but this is entirely his brothers fault.

Tattttedup · 24/07/2025 20:34

OversharedsoNCneeded · 24/07/2025 20:33

Is your DH the younger brother? Had his brother always been jealous of him?

My DH is the younger brother! Im unsure really when I asked DH about the relationship hes always thought its been fine?

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 24/07/2025 20:34

Just ignore it. He sounds like he does have anything better to do.

Tattttedup · 24/07/2025 20:35

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 24/07/2025 20:34

Is yours the younger baby? I know what you mean about supermarket clothes, quite often spotted kids in clothes the same as we had when they were younger. It’s not a big deal, but it sounds plausible that that’s part of the problem given that he actually said something about it. Honestly, he’s being ridiculous. If everyone else if fine with you I’d just ignore it and carry on. Sad for DH to be less close to his brother, but this is entirely his brothers fault.

Yep Dh is middle child. Older brother picked the fight. Younger brother seems to like me from.what i can tell!

And yeah there's so many times I've seen kids at the park or my kids nursery wearing things my kids own! Doesnt really bother me

OP posts:
LowDownBoyStandUpGuy · 24/07/2025 20:38

People honestly get madly competitive over babies (and older DC) and yours are so close in age so it will highlight it even more.

One of my SIL’s got weird with me after I had my first baby, loads of competitive nonsense and her DC is 7 years older than mine!

ARichtGoodDram · 24/07/2025 20:41

Are they the first grandchildren? Is yours the younger one?

My cousin got very competitive with me over one of mine as she felt very put out at there being a baby very close in age to hers. She was expecting all the family attention to be on her wee one, not shared. (It wasn't shared anyway - DD was my 4th so folks were understandably not as interested 😂)

Tattttedup · 24/07/2025 20:42

No he has a stepchildd then a daughter but my son was first so dont know if thay was a thing?

I just really want to all get along as I dont see the need for the divide and there definitely is one

OP posts:
OversharedsoNCneeded · 24/07/2025 20:47

Tattttedup · 24/07/2025 20:34

My DH is the younger brother! Im unsure really when I asked DH about the relationship hes always thought its been fine?

Definitely some unresolved childhood issues, perhaps they were always dressed to match and his brother hated it because he felt like he was being dressed like a baby.

JHound · 24/07/2025 21:05

He sounds far too young to be a father.

He sounds like a school boy

Tattttedup · 24/07/2025 21:09

And something I said to DH when this all kicked off a while ago,

If I was , If, copying clothes. Is that a hateworthy offence ? Lol - enough to not congratulate your brother or even send a £1 card when he has a baby???

I'd maybe get it if for example he thought I was rude or something like a personal aspect

I dont know i dont get it

OP posts:
Bubblegumicecreamm · 24/07/2025 21:10

I think your DH should be laying down some boundaries at this point.

I even decorated DDs room the same style as a friend by accident (same Dunelm pattern), it’s bound to happen if you shop in those shops. I thought it was quite cute!

Delphiniumandlupins · 24/07/2025 21:17

I have two grandchildren very close in age. They live hundreds of miles apart so don't get together very often. We all think it's fun to dress them similarly when they are together (denim day, dungarees, matching elf costumes, etc). We have one boy and one girl though so maybe that makes a difference. Or possibly none of the parents are ridiculously jealous like your BiL!

EggnogNoggin · 24/07/2025 22:35

Are you sure you haven't copied a bit 🤔 because other than a duplicate pack of leggings I've never seen any friends babies dressed the same, never mind multiple times in a few months.

Have you also done similar holidays?

I'm not having a pop, i personally wouldn't care but I think this seems like a tip of the iceberg comment.

labamba18 · 24/07/2025 22:40

oh look they are wearing the same clothes how cute! That’s the normal response. Your bil sounds batshit

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 24/07/2025 23:07

Why would any sane person care what a tiny baby wears, provided that it's comfortable clothing and appropriate for the weather?

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