To refuse to say how much I donated?

[ComeTheMoment]

Am on holiday in the West Country, and visited a tiny museum today. There was no entry fee, but there was a sign asking for voluntary donations to be put in a box, and also asking visitors to tell the curator how much we put in. The curator also directly asked me to tell her how much I was putting in so that she could keep a proper record of how much was being donated. I said I was happy to make a donation (and did so) but told the curator I was not going to say how much it was. It made me too uncomfortable, and seemed to me to be against the principle of ‘voluntary’, which I sort of associate with being private. WIBU?

Not really seeing the issue here.

In theory you’re not being unreasonable but why do you care? She has been asking people all day everyday, she isn’t going to remember you or care how much you donated, they’ll have been many who have donated more and many who have donated less. I wouldn’t have the energy to be awkward for the sake of it.

Did you put in 2p?

Yes I imagine it’s an attempt to place a bit of pressure on people to donate. It can’t be to keep track of what’s being donated - surely you don’t need to know that with any more frequency than just adding it up at the end of the day?

What a weird thing to make an issue of

That's ridiculous, surely they know how much is donated when they count what's in the box!

Will it not be a gift aid thing?

Did you pay a £ is that why you didn't want to say 😂 you could have just said you put a fiver in or whatever you didnt have to be mysterious.

Sounds like you were a bit mortified about what you were putting in or else why would you care?

Why don't they just tally up the daily total- rather than asking individual people? It does seem a bit confronting asking people!

Years ago I was at a tiny museum- possibly the only person in there all day? I didn't see anyone, but filled in a little envelope for my donation and added my details for gift aid for them. When I left, a woman chased me down the road telling me how grateful she was that I'd donated and completed the gift aid info! I think it was only £2 or £5 I'd donated.

Yes, that's whatI told her!

I'd have been just as uncomfortable saying I've put £20 in as saying I put 2p in. I just don't like talking about money.

I don’t think there is necessarily a link between voluntary and private. Plenty of places have “choose what you pay” option, but you still need to tell them how much it is.

However I think them having a system where you put the donation in a box has confused things.

Do you think they've had a problem?

I guess they are trying to do a crude way of researching how much the average visitor is prepared to part with.

But to ask in that way is awkward. They should obviously just accept whatever you give and count it v how many people came in.

If they want to know how much the experience is 'worth' then hand out cards with a small survey on it. One question could be how much did you/would you think was a reasonable donation having seen the exhibition.

I don't understand that to be honest. Just say what you put in. Who cares? Unless you put a ridiculously low amount in, I don't see the problem.

I put in £2. It was an absolutely tiny museum, and I didn't stay for more than two minutes.

That is fair enough, I would have just told her that. Maybe they are trying to cut down on pilfering or something and are trying to keep a tally.

I wouldn't have had a problem with telling her the amount. It does seem odd, though, to ask people how much they put in as a voluntary contribution. If they need to know how much is being donated they can just add it up at the end of the day.

I agree that it's a ruse, as they could indeed count the takings in the box at the end of the day.

As PPs say, it's partially to make you feel ashamed if you put 10p in (although anybody could just easily lie and say they put twenty quid in) and partially to sign you up for Gift Aid; however, they would need to actively receive and log your gift in order to claim GA, not just go on what people tell them they put in.

Maybe they should just have a hole at the bottom of the inside of the box, leading to a transparent perspex pipe, so they could just look after each donation.

This is reminding me a little bit of the old thread where the wedding couple had a wishing well at their reception, asking people to put envelopes containing money gifts for the happy couple in it - but instead of doing the obviously dignified thing and emptying it at the end of the evening after all the guests had left, the bride hovered around the well throughout the do, immediately pounced, grabbed and opened every envelope the instant that somebody deposited one, counted it and then harshly berated them if she reckoned they could have afforded to give more

I'd feel uncomfortable with that too.

I think it's to protect the Curator against possible accusations of misappropriation.

Yes, this is a bit disingenuous, actually. Sometimes, wealthy people who really want to support a worthy cause will anonymously want to give a very generous donation. It's really crass and takes away all of the dignity and subtlety if you force them to announce in front of everybody in earshot that they put £500 in.

Surely they'd be better just having a bowl or plate to put money into, then they could subtly glance over after every donation. Nothing stopping them from keeping a 'float' - so they know that there was £10 there to deduct from the total after you've given, to ascertain how much you gave.

Then you just have a locked box requiring two keys to open, with each one held by a separate trusted person.

The curator could easily lie anyway - or get into trouble unfairly if lots of visitors lie and say they gave more than they did, so the box total reflects reality rather than false claims.

To be honest, I'd have thought that most people nowadays would prefer to give by card via a Sumup machine or similar, so you'd have all the digital records of all giving anyway.

I’d have just told her. Could be they are trying to make sure the person counting up end of day doesn’t nick any cash?