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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not seeing the kids anymore

7 replies

Raynaodld · 24/07/2025 18:15

Long post: So DH and I separated last month- reference to my last post as he wanted to have 5 days away from our young kids who are 2 and 1 and only see them for the weekend. He also wanted to start a travel YouTube channel where he went on trips and used “his” hard earnt money to travel the world with his friends, making sure he returned for the weekend. I of course said no but recently his been going to the gym and working on himself.

He claims he is getting better. He has been going out all week seeing friends and taking time for himself as he claimed he was depressed and then on the weekend would stay with us. On the weekend, we are fine and we’re still intimate. Have gone on family days and talked about getting back together. We sleep in the same bed and he has called me his soulmate and said he wants to try again even going as far to call a psychic to ask if we are meant to be together!

This is how I know I married an absolute narcissist. 2 days before my daughters birthday he came back accusing me of talking to other guys. He seen my phone and I clearly wasn’t. He then said I’m so beautiful why do I have to speak and think so much or else we would be together forever. We fall asleep together and I see Airbnb on his phone. I check and I see many messages arranging to meet girls, presumably he has done while still being with me and putting me at risk, and a couple of them were exes.

After I expressed I was completely done with him, he has since turned nasty. He agreed to weekends but now says he wants Thursdays and Fridays with them or else he won’t show. And he has stopped seeing them in the week. My daughter often calls out for her daddy and he doesn’t see any of the kids at all not even to FT.

Am I being unreasonable to think his behaviour is absolutely awful?

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 24/07/2025 18:29

So now he wants weekends free - sounds like he has a new woman who works. I'd be reluctant to share a bed with him under those circumstances.

How is he going to see his dcs on Thursdays and Fridays when they are at school?

I'm sorry but I think this will go as follows... he will claim to want to see his dcs but increasingly not show up. He'll blame you. You will have to chase him for CM. Contact will become more and more sporadic. I'm sorry.

Stripeyanddotty · 24/07/2025 18:32

@Meadowfinch
Children are 1 and 2

Hankunamatata · 24/07/2025 18:32

Id offer Thursday and Friday one week then Saturday and Sunday the next. Repeating in that pattern.

Sexlessandconfused · 24/07/2025 18:33

He's met someone and wants to see them weekends to do things as that's when they're available.

If they breakup he'll be popping back in at weekends until his next lady friend.

Where's he staying? Does he have room for the kids to stay?

Azandme · 24/07/2025 18:33

Get your CMS claim in. Stop him staying over, ever.

Let him have contact those two days, away from your home. It will be much nicer for you to have the fun weekend days, than all the "get up, shoooooooes!" week days once they start school.

MakeItToTheMoon · 24/07/2025 19:46

He wants to start a travel YouTube channel and only wants to see his children when suits him. What an absolute loser. He is throwing his toys out of the pram because you worked out what he was up to.

Please realise he is a complete waste of space and he’s better out of your life. He would rather prioritise his pathetic life over your precious children who are so tiny and innocent. I hope in a few months time you can look back and glad to be done with him…. your children definitely deserve better!

LaLaLandDreams · 24/07/2025 19:51

He’s a selfish cunt. Let him fuck off for the week and then start packing his stuff and get a divorce in motion.

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