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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not get a better job?

41 replies

YellowMoth · 24/07/2025 17:25

I have an easy, but professional job. 3 days per week - lovely boss and team, nice sector. But it's badly paid, junior and to be honest I'm pretty bored and there's nowhere to go in terms of progression. I've just been offered an interview for a more interesting job - full time but mostly wfh, opportunity to learn new skills, big leap in pay, but I feel a bit reluctant. My youngest son will start school in September and I'll have two days to myself a week, which after years of looking after kids would be amazing. My DH earns considerably more than me and so we don't need the money as such, though it would be helpful. And it would mean more of a juggle with school pick ups / drop offs, holidays, fitting in the gym etc. But obviously, it's not really fair for DH to feel so fully responsible for our finances. I would also like to feel more financially independent and use my brain more. Has anyone else been in this position? Did you go for a better job which worked out? Or did you end up feeling stressed out and miserable?

OP posts:
BrokenHabit · 25/07/2025 17:55

Go for it! The early years are tough but it’s worth it. You never know what life can throw at you so make the most of opportunities now. Money doesn’t matter until it does. Things are not going to get easier in this country so get some money saved and stimulate your brain, win-win!

JTBB33 · 25/07/2025 18:07

YellowMoth · 25/07/2025 17:08

Do you have children?

Wow. How rude. 100% of mothers I know personally, do not rely on their husbands financially. It’s a very naive and outdated way to think. As someone above said. We fought for years for equality. You’re putting yourself massively at risk here

YellowMoth · 25/07/2025 19:46

JTBB33 · 25/07/2025 18:07

Wow. How rude. 100% of mothers I know personally, do not rely on their husbands financially. It’s a very naive and outdated way to think. As someone above said. We fought for years for equality. You’re putting yourself massively at risk here

How was that rude? It was a genuine question. My children are young, 4 and 5, and I would say that the majority of mums I know work part-time, 3 or 4 days a week, because with school hours and child care costs it can be hard to juggle. Personally, I found the comment about women's fight for equality / not relying on a man extremely judgemental, so I was curious. Working part-time doesn't make you any less of a feminist. We're all just doing the best we can and it would be nice if other women tried to support and understand each other a bit more instead of having a go. I do agree that working part time puts me in a more vulnerable position and it definitely is something that I will be considering. It's a balance isn't it? And that's why I started this thread - people's opinions have been helpful.

OP posts:
BePinkOrca · 25/07/2025 19:52

Lotus3 · 25/07/2025 00:52

Personally, every time I've leaned in to an opportunity provided by the universe, it has paid off. Go for it. You can always reject later. 🖤

I love this, it just resonated so much to me. I had a similar opportunity to the OP when my youngest started school it was challenging and took a few weeks of adjustment every September (after the holidays and juggling) but as the kids became older I was able to lean into more opportunities. I am so grateful for all of these opportunities.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 28/07/2025 18:34

RubySquid · 25/07/2025 08:37

When does her DH get time for himself? Surely whatever choice OP makes it has to be fair

I don't think I've ever known of a man who didn't manage to have time for himself. They always seem to have something.

museumum · 28/07/2025 18:42

I would go for it. You’ll lose confidence if you stay in the stagnant job and ft hours aren’t bad at all if wfh without a commute. IMO it’s the commute that makes ft hours an issue with family life. Find a nice local childminder if your school doesn’t have a good ASC, dont try to do childcare and work at the same time. If you have childcare you can take your lunch breaks and get exercise and headspace then.

Mt563 · 28/07/2025 18:48

If you do go for it, do make sure you still get some time to yourself each week. I find an hour alone at a coffee shop at the weekend makes all the difference.

RubySquid · 28/07/2025 20:50

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 28/07/2025 18:34

I don't think I've ever known of a man who didn't manage to have time for himself. They always seem to have something.

Edited

She hasn't mentioned anything

Harry12345 · 01/08/2025 12:40

luckylavender · 25/07/2025 08:42

I never understand this. Women have fought for years for equality. I could never rely on a man. For the record married 34 years.

It’s never really equal though is it?

YellowMoth · 13/08/2025 19:46

Just wanted to update this thread. I went to the interview and was offered the job. They've been really flexible and are allowing me to work reduced hours with one day a week off. I'll also be mainly wfh and it'll be a substantial pay rise. So - I've accepted the job - pretty excited. Thanks for all of the supportive comments - it really helped me to work out what was best for me and my family.

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 13/08/2025 22:24

Yay that’s great news.

Bikergran · 13/08/2025 22:30

Go for it. In the long run you will be grateful for the independence, extra pension and mental stimulation. You could use some of the extra money for a cleaner to take a bit of the domestic weight off, (try and get one who'll do some of the laundry and change the beds!) so you can enjoy your weekends.

Spottyblobby · 13/08/2025 22:33

YellowMoth · 13/08/2025 19:46

Just wanted to update this thread. I went to the interview and was offered the job. They've been really flexible and are allowing me to work reduced hours with one day a week off. I'll also be mainly wfh and it'll be a substantial pay rise. So - I've accepted the job - pretty excited. Thanks for all of the supportive comments - it really helped me to work out what was best for me and my family.

Huge congratulations

walkingismedicine · 14/08/2025 19:59

Go to the interview and find out more

walkingismedicine · 14/08/2025 20:00

Just seen your most recent post-congratulations! Sounds perfect and what great timing

Adrinaxo · 14/08/2025 20:41

Following as I am in the same boat! Wondering if to study though rather than move across / above as I am in a boring admin role, wfh, very flexible part time but youngest starts school next year and I feel like I could do more but is it worth the stress?!

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