Sil ‘Normal Head’

[Ldls]

my 10 week old has recently been diagnosed with Sagittal craniosynostosis. I first noticed his head was a little longer than most and pushed for referrals. We are now waiting in a surgery date for his skull. I have been very overwhelmed with this and don’t know if I’m being oversensitive.

my sil was over the other day and made a comment like ‘oh he’ll have such a perfect head when the helmet comes off’ which is fine but then followed it up with ‘I feel like I have a big head and your brother has a small head. We’d probably have a baby with a normal head.’ I felt like she kept repeating ‘normal head’
am I being over sensitive to be so annoyed by this?

Ideally the word ‘normal’ should be made illegal. I hate myself every time I say it and I’m trying my best to ban it in our house.

Normal is a mathematical term I think that just means in the middle. We’ve had a diagnosis of craniosynostosis too, a few weeks ago. It’s been a very tough time, be gentle to yourself xx

She was an absolute twat. Limit your exposure to her at this stressful time.

Is she a nervous type? Sounds like she was talking gibberish as she didn't know what to say. It's difficult not to be sensitive at times like this. 💐

I mean she was self deprecating to say she had a big head so it sounds like she's just put her foot in it without realising.

I mean ... it's getting treatment so you already know it's not 'normal' (common yes, but anything 'normal' would not require diagnosis and treatment). On that basis I think you're being oversensitive. If you'd rather she leave the 'head talk' off the agenda, just tell her in general terms.

My DS was born with the same thing. I do get a bit sensitive when people talk about it...maybe because I feel a bit guilty giving DS that head? I rationally know that his head is oddly shaped but it stings a bit when anyone mentions it.
Anyway you will always be a bit sensitive about it in my experience but people usually mean well.

Yabu, but you know you are sensitive at the moment, so that's ok.

My son had to be suctioned out. It looked like he had a mini tube of pringles stuck to his head for the first couple of days!

Yeah,. I understand I’m over sensitive at the moment waiting on a surgery date. Just the phrase ‘I’m sure my kid would have a normal head’ peaked the rage inside me.

Sounds like she has no kids yet, is she pregnant? She’s just immature and says the first thing that comes into her head, if she actually had a child she’d probably realise how stressful for you and how insensitive she sounds.

YANBU to feel sensitive about it. But I’d counter with “well, it will probably look normal, let’s hope your kid inherits his brains from my side of the family though eh?”

I think it's just a way of reassuring herself that her child would be ok, or just trying to make a jokey lightness about how everyone's head shapes are different. Not really what you want to hear but I'd let it go. It's completely understandable for you to be extremely sensitive about it though.

To me normal just means standard or average, but it is a word that people often feel very, very strongly about probably because of the opposite 'abnormal' which sounds pretty horrible.

Hope yous are doing ok.
we just got our surgery date. It’s terrifying