Am I over sensitive?

[Seaandsons]

Hi all,
I would appreciate some insight to if I’m being over sensitive. I’ll start by saying I’m 7 months pregnant and have a lot of hormones at the moments.
I’m currently abroad with my family (husband & children), my mum, SD, SS & family. A few mornings ago I spoke with my mum about an excursion that would be nice for all of us to do together while we were here. Two days pass and yesterday it transpired that during the day mum & SS both booked this excursion for the following morning. When I realised this, I didn’t comment but I admit I did find it rude and was annoyed. I stepped back from the social situation where it was obvious I was upset and took myself off to bed feeling hurt. The next morning my mum asked me what was wrong and I told her how rude I found it that after our conversation about excursions nobody thought to give me a quick call or message to see if we’d like to go too. My children will now be hurt to know that everyone is going out on a lovely day apart from us as we weren’t invited. She muttered an apology but I was getting very emotional I walked into my room. I could then hear her telling my husband I had ruined the holiday she paid for and have made an atmosphere for everyone. Anyway, everyone got picked up and went on their lovely day trip and we stayed by the pool. When they returned I did say a hi, but nobody engaged with me and sat away from where I was.
I am fully aware that I am very sensitive at the moment but can’t help but feel very hurt that my own Mum couldn’t think of her daughter and two grandsons who might also like to join everyone for a day out. She has spent a lot of time with SS and I feel hurt she’s made minimal effort with me. My husband has told me to let it go but I’m really struggling with my emotions at the moment and I’m not sure how I can get through the rest of the holiday acting like I feel perfectly fine.
Normally my mum is great and does a lot for her grandchildren but this exclusion has really hurt and I’m not sure how I’ll get past it.
Am I being ridiculous? Would you also feel hurt? How do you let go of hurt feelings?!
Thanks for reading,
a very emotional and hurt pregnant lady x

Why didn't you just book it yourself if you wanted to go?

That was really odd behaviour a really unkind. I’d be really upset and seriously reconsidering how much time I spent with them knowing how dispensable me my family are.

I think you should let it go while you’re there, otherwise the rest of your holiday will be spoiled. Book the two day pass for your family so your children don’t miss out. The added bonus is that will be two days away from them.

I can’t think of any excuse for your mother knowing it was an excursion you wanted to do and booking without you. I would only make minimal plans to spend time with her in future because she clearly has no regard for your feelings and perhaps more importantly she doesn’t mind upsetting her grandchildren.

I would be hurt.

Definitely book a couple of excursions for you and the kids to make the most of the rest of the holiday and spend time away from the situation for a bit. if she complains- you’re only doing what she initially did.

And then, when home from holiday, have a long talk with your mum.

I’m with you- that was really rude and inconsiderate and I’d feel the same as you.

It's odd that they booked and went without you, maybe your mum forgot the conversation she had with you? If I were you, I'd book the excursion yourself and take your own family. Maybe your mum was thinking you were expecting her to pay for you all? It sounds like she's paying for the holiday already. Try and make the most of your time there and have fun with your kids.

Why is it always women, who asks ourselves whether we are being over sensitive - is it one of the many things, we are conditioned to do?

No you are not oversensitive.

Book the excursion and go for yourself. If they comment just say. "Ah yes its a shame we couldnt all go together" they will know they did not invite you.

I would look at your relationship further once home. Is this common? Have you learned to not be "seen"? If so some counselling will likely help you. If it is a genuine one off I would likely leave and move on. (But dont let there be a 2nd time)

If you are being a bit (understandably) over sensitive just now then perhaps mum and SS just wanted a quiet day away from everyone else - no sensitive folk, no kids, just a bit of chill time. It is unfortunate that they choose something you fancied too, but maybe they'd already thought about it or when you mentioned it (but didn't suggest actually booking it for all of you) then they went ahead and booked it. It's not just your holiday and you are capable of booking stuff on your own surely?

To be fair, pregnancy can make one a tad oversensitive - while understandable, it's also not unreasonable to want a day's break from it.

Book it now and get out of there. Don’t go on holiday with that combination again. Imo, your mum was incredibly inconsiderate given you’d told her you’d like to do that particular trip.

Im not really sure why when hey said they had booked you did jsut say, great ill get us all booked on too. I do t think that between and family on holiday together you need specific invites.

In terms of why they did, im guessing they wanted time without children?

You are not being over sensitive at all. I think that was horrible of your mother. Does she have form for this? I hope your husband is supporting you. Don’t go on holiday with them again. Try and enjoy the rest of your time away and try not to dwell on it. But this was just mean. Sending you a hug.

Not helpful. And quite mean.

Ages of people? Perhaps your mums a bit grandkid out and wanted a break. Is ss a bit older? Was sd put out?

You also handed it badly rather than huffing and flouncing to bed you should have just said you would have liked to come to

The fact you left it a couple days and didn't organise it perhaps your mum thought that you wanted her to pay for you and your family. Perhaps ss paid for it. So many variables

Do you think there's been some misunderstanding and she thought you were planning going with your children and husband?

If she's usually decent with you there is probably a genuine reason why.

Has she paid for the holiday?

If so maybe she was expecting you to book it and pay for everyone to go on it, maybe she thought "umm wants me to pay for this excursion"

Thank you for your replies, good to know in some opinions others would have been upset too. Just to make clear I didn’t expect my Mum to pay, yes she paid for our villa as she came into some money but we’ve all paid for flights & spending money. She also didn’t want a day without kids as went with my SS two kids who are younger than mine and a lot more hard work. She hasn’t spent much time with my own apart from dinners.
I also couldn’t just book on as it was done at an excursion hut and not online so by the time I was told it had been closed.
Lastly, yes I did huff and puff but I felt incredibly hurt/emotional and I know these feelings are currently heightened.
Thank you all, I’ll find a way to pull it together and get through today.

Why is it mean?

Personally I would now start doing your own thing. Book the trip for your family now, then do anything else you want to do and just tell them on the day

and don’t go on holiday with them again

Why did she do that? I would be very hurt and I would make that known to her. I would also have said that it wasn’t you that had ruined the holiday. Why on earth would she not even ask you, is there any plausible reason that you know of?

I would probably do my own thing with your family for the rest of the time.

YADNBU.

Even if you hadn’t previously mentioned to her that you wanted to do the trip, it’s odd she didn’t ask everyone seeing as you’re on a family group holiday.

Everyone should be involved in plans and given the option to come or not.

I actually think it's ok for some group members to spend some time separately - it's only one day, and OP has said herself that she's maybe being a tad oversensitive in general. It's ok to want time away from that. Maybe OP is talking more about babies or pregnancy than she realises, or maybe SS or mum have other stuff going on that they want to speak privately about.

you now have permission to do what you like with whom you like and not ask anyone else if they want to join.

Have at it!

Don't most folk have that anyway?

Obviously I'm not including people in abusive situations in that.

Thisis a weird set uo. If you are on holiday together and staying in the same place isn't it normal to discuss plans all together not book things behind backs? Even if the intention is to not spend all the time together every day.

Yeah, I'm not surprised you're upset. She booked a trip without you and your kids, knowing that you had already said you wanted to do that excursion.

Frankly, it was best totally thoughtless, at worst actually unkind.