I feel like a mad women! 4 year old so clumsy.

[Fightingtobepositive]

Im such a worrier and I’ve come to the point that im not sure it’s my anxiety or being responsible. every time my little one is unwell or hurt. I feel so overwhelmed and need reassurance or feel the need to get in front of something. How do you know when the rig hug time to worry is. I’m so confused at this point.
I’m on holiday with my partner and my 4 year old. It’s day two. Already I’ve been on the edge of my nerves because of how many times he’s actually gone under the water for a moment eg going down the slide etc. now tonight he was playing on a rope thing in the park and swung sideways into the metal pole. He bumped his head it’s got a small bump at the back. He was upset for a minute but recovered quickly and was back to playing in minutes. But I’m so worried he’s hurt or I need to seek advice, it’s his head, I can’t see what’s gone on, how do I know if I should be concerned. He’s bumped his back side front etc many times on the past and it’s similar scenario. He only bumped his front about 3 weeks ago. He still has a sharp lump there. I can’t control my anxiety. My little one is so clumsy and I’m feeling completely overwhelmed with trying to keep him safe and well. I could cry.
I don’t know what I’m asking. I guess just that when it’s a bump to the head. You obviously don’t know the damage. He’s got a bit of a lump there, and is happy. But how do I know he’s ok. He took quite a swing and it is the back of his head. He’s eaten ice cream and is now asleep. I don’t know how much more my nerves can take. Or my partner.

please help. Reassure me with you bump stories. Or call me crazy. I think my partner would love too.

just a note. I’m actually a good time when I don’t let these moments get the better of me. I am seeing someone for my anxiety. So far it’s not helping!
also posted on parenting.

Oh you poor thing it sounds like you are totally sidelined by anxiety! Firstly, your child will be fine ❤️ their heads, whilst yea we just ensure they are protected, are pretty darn resilient. Take it from someone’s who LO has had multiple brain surgeries! If he didn’t vomit then honestly I wouldn’t worry, kids get bumps all the time. Keep an eye out for any unusual drowsiness or sickness if you’re really worried, but it sounds like he’s fine if he’s playing and eating ice cream :)

Going forward, do you see anyone for your anxiety? I used to be just like you and whilst I still do get moments of blinding panic, I am much MUCH better than I was - I can actually function again. Talking therapy and CBT were lifelines for me. Enjoy your holiday - everything is ok!!

(sorry, just re read and I see that to do see someone!! It took me three years to get ‘better’ from where I was but I really am a different person now!)

Some children are more clumsy than usual, and some like my DS possibly have Dyspraxia (we are waiting for an assessment).

As long as he is alert, not vomiting or drowsy, and eating and drinking then likely all is fine.

It’s easier said than done but try not to worry too much unless he’s drowsier than usual or is sick.

As a bit of reassurance, DD fell backwards off a chair onto a tiled floor not so long ago (DH tried to catch her and was a moment too slow) and had a lump on the back of her head for a few days but was otherwise completely fine in herself.

Can actually feel your anxiety through reading your post.

Everything you describe is totally normal for your kid’s age. I have a 3.5yo and if he’s not swinging from something he’s jumping off something else.

I think you urgently need to get this anxiety under control. It will rub off very soon on your child and you’ll have a timid, frightful, dramatic youngster, who, through no fault of their own, will have been led down a path that they’ll struggle to get off of.

I bet your partner is at their wits end too.

Thank you for you reply’s. I need to hear honest opinions and it’s nice to hear some support and reassurance too. I am completely aware of my anxiety and trying to tackle it, I have a huge fear of it rubbing off on my little one and know I need to do better. But in this moment I struggle so much to think any differently.i am still panicking about it. I actually do feel like a dull his sparkle on occasions. Parenting is amazing but mind boggling and a massive mix of emotions. Any recommendations on a manual? Honest question.

What kind of help are you getting just now? Is it CBT? How long have you been doing it?

@Kibble19 just therapy, talking! I dont
know what good it’s doing. I struggle with some of the things she has given me to do. I thought it was going ok but it didn’t last.

Honestly, I get this. My now 8 year lld was incredibly clumsy at 4 and had so many falls and accidents. I thought about dyspraxia. Happy to say he has mostly grown out if it. Kids are actually incredibly tough.

I was like this too when my eldest was a toddler and I realised through therapy that when I was a kid my parents were constantly telling me to be careful or stop doing potentially risky things because of their own limitations (my mum was disabled so couldn't run after/catch me and my dad is highly anxious). Were/are your parents also anxious and overly risk averse with you? Could be something to explore with your therapist. I have managed to more or less get past it now and am much more relaxed about my DC taking risks (now 4 and 2, so still very much in the thick of it!).

Thank you for sharing. No my parents weren’t anxious but my dad overly pushy and. Risk taker so I’m wondering if it’s his the opposite effect 🙈🤣
thanks all. I will keep working on it. Just gets the better of you more so during times like this.