Is it unreasonable to not eat/drink something when you said you didn’t want it?

[IfIDoThis]

If you were out and whoever you were with asked if you wanted another drink or a slice of cake or something and you said no, would you still eat/drink it if they ignored you and got you one anyway?

No of course not. Why would you?

"Oh sorry, you can't have heard me. No thank you."

Were you visiting Craggy Island?

Eh. Depends! I might have a cheeky extra one if the mood struck me.

But I'd feel absolutely no obligation to do so.

If it was something like a cup of tea I'd probably drink it just to keep the peace. If it was a cake I'd ask for a takeaway box and offer it to them to take home for later.

No, I wouldn’t - I’d see it as controlling behaviour, trying to override my wishes. I don’t eat or drink random stuff that’s bought for me without asking unless I actually want it, either. Some excuse if I wasn’t there to ask, but still.

Shots often fall into the latter category.

Absolutely no. I’m not going to change my mind just because someone ignored my wishes.

No I wouldn’t because I think it’s rude and disrespectful to ignore someone’s “no”

I see you’ve been to visit my mum.

I wouldn’t feel any obligation to eat / drink something that someone had bought me if I’d already told them that I didn’t want it.

It’s on them if they’re not happy about the waste of food / drink in that scenario.

Definitely no obligation to eat it. OTOH if you see it and decide you do fancy it after all, go for your life.

Jeez. Can’t people do something nice without a hidden motive of being controlling!?

Surely you know you don't have to eat or drink something you expressly said you didn't want? How is this even a question?

Oh g'wan, g'wan, g'wan, g'wan - have a nice cup of tea...

But no, if I've said no then I mean it. It would be weird if I had to eat/drink something against my wishes to keep the peace.

That said... I'm not sure it applies to wine...

It isn't nice if someone says they don't want it and you ignore them.

A drink, yes. The cake, no

😁

My older Asian relatives would do this. I would probably have one bite despite my inner frustration. Thankfully this ‘force-feeding’ does not seem to have passed down the generations.

This has happened to me with alcoholic drinks. I hate it. Its really fucking rude and I did feel obligated to drink it, to avoid looking rude/ causing a scene which is mad as they are the ones being rude.

Why do people do this?!

Why do you think its a nice thing to do when someone has been asked if they want a drink or cake, and said 'No thank you', and then are bought a drink anyway. Its not nice. Its really not nice to be on the receiving end of. It puts the receiver in a really awkward social situation where they either have to ' cause a scene' by not drinking the thing they don't want to drink, or they do force down a drink they really didn't want to have.

Depends what it is and why I said no.

If it was a friend I’d wonder if there was a reason they did it, like they wanted to avoid going home or to talk about something important to them. An exception to that would be alcohol though. I bloody hate it when people try and get you to drink more when you’ve said you’ve had enough.

Would you say this about any situation where someone says no but the other person ignores them? According to your logic, rape would just be doing something nice for someone….

If someone tells you no, whether it’s about a piece of cake, having sex, or anything in between, it is not “nice” to decide you know better and give it to them anyway. Why bother asking them if you’re going to ignore them anyway?

I think it depends on who it was and what it was.

DH or MIL buying me another one of the expensive cocktails that I like but cringe at the cost of - I wouldn't mind as I know that's them just being nice. They know I'd always fancy another one, but I struggle justifying the cost to myself (which is daft) and they wish I'd treat myself more often.

My Aunt buying me cake or chocolate I haven't asked for - that's a no because she openly hates the fact I've lost so much weight and has tried to persuade me to break my diet every single time I've seen her.

You had your reasons for not wanting anymore they didn't listen so you're under no obligation.

Go on,go on!