He told me a colleague was attractive

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My boyfriend has form for speaking to like I am one of his friends. I’ve asked him previously not to talk about other women in front of me.

This morning he was talking about one of the women he works with and he told me ‘oh yes, she is very attractive’. I hadn’t asked.

He never compliments me or my appearance but seems to be able to compliment other women to me despite me asking him not to.

He has also been quite un complimentary about my appearance previously. It just makes me feel like he is comparing me to these women and that obviously I’m coming up short.

He says that I am jealous and controlling by asking him not to talk about the appearance of other woman and that he can’t do anything right.

AIBU? Am I jealous and insecure? I don’t think I’d be so bothered if he made me feel like he found me attractive.

I wouldn’t think of criticising his appearance and then talking about other men that I found attractive. It would feel cruel to me.

I am grateful for all the replies. I am going to take some time to think about whether I actually want to take the time to speak to him. We’ve had this conversation at least twice before. So I don’t know if there is anything to be gained.

I think there is an element of him wanting to lower my self confidence. He is older than me and is not really conventionally attractive in an objective sense. I don’t say that with malice but he isn’t. He’s short, balding and slightly overweight. But I’d never tell him these things because I wouldn’t want to shake his confidence.

Im not exactly an oil painting but I think objectively most people would say I am slightly more attractive.

He sounds like a jerk. He also sounds like he doesn't understand how to treat a girlfriend. Yes, you are his friend, but he can't treat you like one of the guys and expect this relationship to last.

I wouldn't invest my time in a man like this. Find someone better.

I don’t expect him not to find other women attractive. That would be ridiculous. But I just don’t know why he thinks I want to hear about it.

He is definitely begging then. Sorry.

The issue with being the more attractive partner of an insecure man is they’re also more likely to cheat.

sorry!

Negging not begging!

He is a massive prick, it’s not you, you could do better and he is destroying your self esteem on purpose