Ghost what was a friend or explain why I don't want to be their friend anymore?

[greyrocksabove]

I met someone at a shared hobby, we then met up a lot and socialised as families. I liked her, she seemed genuinely nice but over time some things raised flags for me, eventually I realised that I did not share their values at all, she would speak about others unkindly yet then be overly friendly when around them, so I've backed off. Been busy a lot and genuinely not had time to see any friends but, should I just say actually I don't want to spend time with you or continue to be unavailable and wait until there is no more offers to meet up? We do live in a small town so likely to still see her at some point plus our children attend the same school.

Do whatever makes you feel happiest

Edit: happy, not happiest!

I would just keep drifting apart take long and longer between replies until it stops.

If you're still going to see her around, I'd steer clear of outright telling her you don't want to be her friend. Just be busy. If you run into her and she talks badly about someone, tell her you don't agree then excuse yourself. She will get the picture.

Be busy and let it drift. No good will come of criticising her at all. Imagine how anyone would react to you saying you don’t want to be their friend any more. Much kinder to let it slide.

I wouldn’t tell her outright you don’t want to be friends especially if you are likely to see her about. I’d just let things drift off. If she asks then by all means be honest but until then just keep the status quo.

This. I'd probably say something about the unkind comments when she was saying them though.