AIBU to find being a stay at home mum exhausting?

[Gmary20]

I have a great life, my husband is kind and caring and earns enough to support the family without me having to work while we have young children. I have a gorgeous, inquisitive and caring 20 month old daughter who I love more than life itself.

But, am I the only one who finds being a stay at home mum completely exhausting? I resort to putting the tv on for my daughter a lot as I just don’t have the energy to be constantly playing with her and she can’t entertain herself for long.

I take her to a play group a few morning a week and we go to the park a few times a week as well, I’m just finding it so exhausting. I kind of dread the monotony of waking up and having to make breakfast again. All I want is a break for a little bit. We have no family near by so we never have any help with childcare.

What confuses me is how people go no screen? If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it because without the telly I would have a toddler attached to my leg crying 12 hours a day and I would never be able to get anything done or have any peace. How did people be stay at home mums with babies and toddler before the Tv was invented?

Please send help, and advice. I’m not complaining I’m just exhausted. Thank you.

That is precisely why I got a part time job ! My dc benefitted and so did I. We enjoyed being together so much more because of the break from each other.

The paid activities cost a fair bit but we have zoo membership and balance it out with free days out at museums, galleries and big parks. Lunch is always a packed lunch so we never spend anything on food, and we take public transport (I'm fortunate to have a free travelcard) so no travel and parking costs. So on certain days we spend zero, and we make the most of cheap ticket offers (Kids Week and seat fillers).

One thing that’s struck me from other posters is that everyone seems to entertain their kids.

I don’t and never have. Stay with me because I’m not completely nuts honestly!

Ive always just got on with stuff and the kids either join in with whatever I’m doing or go play. I’m not great at the playing pretend stuff so 5mins and I’m done.

If you weren’t at work and didn’t have to entertain a child what is it you’d be choosing to do?

I’m not a SAHM usually, but I kind of relate as am on mat leave and have a (just turned) 4 and 2yo, and a baby.

We didn’t have a TV until we moved house earlier this year - husband and I have just never had one. So we have never watched TV with the children, and now I just wouldn’t think to put it on.

I quite like joining in all the imaginary play, which helps, and I know a lot of people aren’t a fan. I also find that the big two will occupy themselves quite happily with Duplo/Lego or the toy kitchen or making a den.

But my main parenting essential is to go out every day, whatever the weather. I am a much worse mum if I’m stuck inside. I try and make sure that we leave the house after breakfast and get back for lunch at the earliest. This really breaks the day up and after lunch/nap is done, it feels like there isn’t that much time in the day.

It's such a long day. I remember it so well. I would give anything to go back for a day but I don't pine for that time again. I used to feel guilty literally ALL the time and MIL would make comments about how much we went out but staying at home was so difficult.

TV for an hour or two in the late afternoon is fine in my view and I am very strict now about screens.

It will pass and when they get older it's really fun!

If you don't want nursery, which is fine, then you need to work a lot harder to give her the stimulation and activity that she needs. I don't know any toddler that would not be bouncing off the walls if they stayed in the house all day.

And screens at this age are not ideal. You may be telling yourself that being a SAHM is the best thing for her but not if you put her in front of a TV daily.

My DD is 2 and goes to nursery 5 afternoons a week. Without sounding harsh, it's good for her and it's good for me. Gives us a break from each other and gives her amazing experiences. I also work 4 days a week and I honestly find it easier being in work than at home with DD. Being a mother is hard work. No one should ever feel guilty for that! 💞