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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect DS team mates to kick the football and not DS?

13 replies

zoggs · 27/05/2008 15:08

6 and 7 year olds decided to play games of "let's kick DS2" and "don't let DS2 have the ball". One little monster added another dimension by literally going for his throat -WTF! This was at an organised tournament.

I nearly cried myself when he excused one of his team by saying "at least he didn't tease me" whilst he pointed out the various parts of his anatomy which had been kicked and pinched. All this from his own team!

Thing is, DS2 is really big for his age and goes to a tough inner city school where he has no problems and lots of friends. Plays football with boys from another area who are more affluent, professional parents etc and they behave like farking hooligans.

Or am I being too precious, boys will be boys and all that?

OP posts:
3andnomore · 27/05/2008 15:26

hm...I don't think anything excuses such behaviour within a team or not....however...did he do anything to aggrivate the other Kids or is it simply that they think they are better then him?
Your poor ds!

TwoToTango · 27/05/2008 15:35

You are not being unreasonable at all. One of the reasons I like DS to play football is because I think team sports are good for encouraging team play and sport is supposed to be good for teaching discipline.

Didn't the referee or any of the coaches notice. If this happened at the coaching sessions my DS attends the coaches would have dealt with it immediately.

Original poster
zoggs · 27/05/2008 16:07

Most of it happened between matches so not seen because everyone was watching other teams. Coach had gone for a cup of tea/fag and he tends to forget they're only 7 and need a bit more structure. They were just left to amuse themselves with a ball and it got out of hand. 2 boys in particular picking on DS2 and encouraginging the rest of the team to join in. Don't think he did anything to aggravate them, in fact he's probably too passive. 3 or 4 boys refused to be drawn in.

We've had problems with the 2 ringleaders before. One has a terrifyingly competitive alpha mummy and the other boy has a lovely single mum who is best mates with the alpha mummy.

OP posts:
3andnomore · 27/05/2008 16:21

have you made the coach aware of what happened? It should be addressed with the boys in question aswell as with their parents, imo....

TwoToTango · 27/05/2008 16:33

Think you should make the coach aware so next time he can keep a closer eye on them - wasn't there another coach or someone supposed to be watching them while he went for a cup of tea/fag?

Original poster
zoggs · 27/05/2008 16:44

Coach takes the "boys will be boys" attitude. Parents oblivious. I texted one mum today but I'm too frightened of the other one - she's really fierce and nobody can say anything about her son because he's about to be signed by 3 premiership clubs, don't you know?!

Like TTT, I just want my son to have fun playing in a team sport. Is that too much to ask?

OP posts:
TwoToTango · 27/05/2008 17:08

Sorry but I can't understand the coach's "boys will be boys" regarding this situation. I would be annoyed. OK boys are noisy, boisterous, cheeky, loud etc., etc. exacly why sport is so good for burning of some of that energy but IMO and certainly IME where DS goes to have football coached - all of these traits are channelled IYSWIM.

If these boys think it is OK to treat other people like that at age 6/7 with no consequence you can only imagine what they will be like in 10 years time.

for you DS - he sounds a bit like my DS so I can imagine how you feel.

FluffyMummy123 · 27/05/2008 17:08

Message withdrawn

3andnomore · 27/05/2008 17:19

that coach is ut of order....what those boys are doing is bullying , nothing to do with boys being boys....

Original poster
zoggs · 27/05/2008 18:04

Wish I didn't have to send him but DS says he wants to stay and DP has a long association with the club so is reluctant to move him elsewhere. But it might come to that.

Wish me luck for tackling the nasty mum. One of the other parents told me not bother as she will deny everything and my name will be mud.

Any tips?

OP posts:
pointydog · 27/05/2008 18:19

Personally, I wouldn't contact the mums. I don't think that will help.

You should talk to the coach, tell him you're not happy and ask him what he'll do about it.

2shoes · 27/05/2008 18:22

if your dp has a long connection with the club get him to speak to the coach.

Original poster
zoggs · 27/05/2008 18:42

Yes, you're right. The nice mum already knows. I'll leave it now though and see what happens. Thank goodness the football season is over.

Thanks for responding.

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