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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Organising Outings For Flaky Friends Is A Nightmare

19 replies

InsectsMatter · 22/07/2025 20:00

After a bit of a lull in my social life I decided to take the bull by the horns and rev things up a bit.

I saw a play I liked the look of and asked a newish friend if they’d like me to buy tickets for us both and what date would suit. They said Yes! Let me check my calendar.

This was a week ago and haven’t heard back. I met him on a dating site and we had a good time but for me there was no chemistry so I said could we stay in touch as friends, he was disappointed but said friends would be fine.

He’s since called a few times and we get on well. He chastised me for not responding to his first message quickly enough after our first date, but this was because I was dreading having the ‘I like you but only as a friend’ convo.

To repay him for dinner which he generously paid for I thought a nice theatre outing would be a nice recompense.

so given this play is only on for a short time and thinking he wasn’t interested I then invited a flaky but fun friend. To my amazement she responded the next day and said she’d love to come. I gave her a couple of dates but predictably 2 days later no response. Meanwhile tickets are selling out fast.

Dear charming but flaky people of the world; I would just like to remind you that coming out for an idea for an outing then inviting you and booking it is a bit of a bloody effort and could you please respond in a timely fashion.

if not, please don’t complain (as some do) that nobody invites you to anything and come sobbing to me because you fear dying alone having been savaged by Alsatians 🐕

As it is, I’ve bought tickets and secured a reliable old pal who is similarly enthused (A Man For All Seasons), the best screenplay in the history of the world, to accompany me.

OP posts:
HelpHedgehogsByFeedingThemCatBiscuits · 22/07/2025 20:10

Every second post on here is about flaky friends.
People are really getting much more unreliable.
Give them one chance then bin them.

RetroViral · 22/07/2025 20:13

I have a flaky friend. I found that if I only arrange things that I wanted to do anyway and would be just as happy doing alone, then I don’t feel let down when the inevitable text blowing me out arrives.

InsectsMatter · 22/07/2025 20:13

Agree.
I’m so old now I really can’t be bothered.
I remember my wedding in 1989. 130 invitations were sent out; absolutely everyone RSVP’d. Only one guest didn’t bother to turn up and I never saw or spoke to her again.
Dread to imagine organising something similar today!

OP posts:
Neveranynamesleft · 22/07/2025 20:15

Life is too short for flaky friends. They can flake off.

RetroViral · 22/07/2025 20:16

You have to reframe it first your own sanity. Only arrange to do things you’d still enjoy on your own. Save other arrangements for more reliable friends.

HelpHedgehogsByFeedingThemCatBiscuits · 22/07/2025 20:16

Interesting that there are some downvotes.
Clearly these are all the `flaky friends' who are outraged that people go on strike from inviting them to events they will never bother to turn up at!

InsectsMatter · 22/07/2025 20:19

Neveranynamesleft · 22/07/2025 20:15

Life is too short for flaky friends. They can flake off.

AbSoFuckingLutely 🤪

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 22/07/2025 20:22

Flaky friends should be something that do not exist.

Flaky former friends.

InsectsMatter · 22/07/2025 20:22

it is so bloody hard organising theatre tickets anyway.

Any ticket under 80 quid has a big note on the form warning you about massive pillars obstructing your view. For an extra 20 quid bung to get a grotty micro bottle of Moët fizz.

I can’t make that kind of decision for someone else!

OP posts:
CharlotteRumpling · 22/07/2025 20:24

I am going to see A Man for All Seasons too. And I am going alone because I can't be bothered chasing flaky friends and the endless back and forth.

HelpHedgehogsByFeedingThemCatBiscuits · 22/07/2025 20:25

"Having been savaged by Alsations"!

This is to be the fate of the flaky friends.

sparklychair · 22/07/2025 20:36

I saw that many years ago in London. Martin Shaw was in the play... he was excellent.

CharlotteRumpling · 22/07/2025 20:39

I saw it in 2005, I think. I remember it was marvellous.

Laura95167 · 22/07/2025 20:39

I mean i wouldn't have asked a man i rejected after a tinder date. I doubt youll actually be friends.

But tbh next time just get a ticket and go alone

BlankBlankBlank14 · 22/07/2025 20:48

LlynTegid · 22/07/2025 20:22

Flaky friends should be something that do not exist.

Flaky former friends.

Agreed!

IMissSparkling · 22/07/2025 20:52

I'd have just booked one ticket in the first place and gone by myself.

CharlotteRumpling · 22/07/2025 21:00

Sometimes you want to share the experience with someone else. But not in 2025 where cell phones make it just too easy to cancel last minute.

autienotnaughty · 22/07/2025 21:03

I have a flaky friend. She is my oldest friend so I don’t want get rid. I tend to arrange group things or just easy catch-ups so when she cancels there’s no impact.

CandyCane457 · 22/07/2025 21:27

Just stick with your reliable old pal who is joining you. I wouldn’t really say a guy you rejected on tinder could be classed as any sort of friend, flaky or not. Forget him. Hang out with your old mates.

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