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Organising Events for Flaky Friends is a Nightmare

2 replies

HelpHedgehogsByFeedingThemCatBiscuits · 22/07/2025 17:53

After a bit of a lull in my social life I decided to take the bull by the horns and rev things up a bit. I'm 63 and with a friends dropping like flies with health problems I am trying to make new ones.

I saw a play I liked the look of and asked a newish friend if they'd like me to buy tickets for us both and what date would suit.

This was a week ago and haven't heard back. I met him on a dating site and we had a good time but for me there was no chemistry so I said could we stay in touch as friends and he said he was disappointed but friends would be fine. He has since called a few times and we get on well. He chastised me for not responding to his first message quickly enough after our first `date', but this was because I was dreading having to say "I like you but not in that way" (we've all been there - I know men hate being friend zoned).

To repay him for dinner which he generously paid for I thought a theatre outing would be a nice recompense.

So given this play is only on for a month and thinking he was either not interested in it or was trying to play hard to get, I then contacted an old friend who though famously flaky, is good company when she can be pinned down. She can sometimes take a while to respond to messages but to my amazement she contacted me the next day and said she'd love to come. So I gave her a couple of dates and 2 days later, no response. Meanwhile tickets are selling out fast.

I do have tried and trusted reliable friends who will come with me, but I thought I'd branch out and try some different people but I really don't know why I bother as the charming and flaky friends are so annoying. And let me tell you, as we get older, they get even MORE annoying.

Dear Charming Flaky People of the World, I would just like to politely remind you that coming up with an idea for an outing then inviting you to it is a bit of an effort.

Could you please respond in a timely fashion.

If not, please don't complain (as some do), that nobody invites you to anything and come sobbing to me because you fear dying alone having been savaged by Alsations.

As it is, I have bought tickets and secured a reliable old pal who is similarly enthused (A Man For All Seasons - the best screenplay of any film/play in the history of the world), to accompany me.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 23/07/2025 01:59

Flaky people are a nightmare.

I think the key is never to depend on them. Invite a reliable friend (or be happy to go by yourself) and then invite flaky friend as an optional extra. If possible don't offer to buy their ticket, just tell them where you're sitting and let them join if they want to.

HelpHedgehogsByFeedingThemCatBiscuits · 25/07/2025 18:46

I messaged flaky friend and said not to worry, I've bought tickets and my BF is keen to come so no worries if you can't make it.
Cue and immediate response "yes I can definitely make it!"
The secret is to always have a backup when dealing with these people

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