Pissed off about exceptionally trivial stuff

[Merryoldgoat]

One of my few treats to myself is fresh flowers. I have a Freddie’s Flowers subscription and get about a box every 3/4 weeks depending on what’s on offer. It really cheers me up.

My son has decided to become allergic to pollen. So that’s that.

I feel like I don’t get anything nice anymore.

Full disclosure: both boys have ASD and are in specialist education, DH and I work full time, we’re exhausted, running on fumes, and now this just feels like a further dig.

I know it’s trivial and actually a sign of bigger issues if something so small can upset me so much which I will address.

I am just a bit sick of my dirge of a life right now.

Many pollen allergies are to specific pollen not just any, so miiiiiight be worth trying to isolate DS’s reaction. I go off for lilies (and plane trees) but all other plants are fine, for example.
Sorry you’re on a stress edge, it’s lousy keeping yourself above water when life’s like that. Apart from any more serious life changes, maybe get some bright pics up on the wall to make your days a touch better in a similar way to flowers?

Doesn't it somehow seem worse when it's a relatively "small" thing though? Like, "ffs now i can't even have FLOWERS?!"

Agree though, can you experiment with cheap supermarket flowers to see if there's any that your DC doesn't react to, then go back to your subscription with those?

I don’t think it’s trivial, if you feel you can’t have your flowers. It’s your special lift. Can you give him anti histamine?

You are exhausted, and so any small thing is the straw that breaks the camel's back and you get the rage. I'm sorry you are finding it so tough.

How old are you? Being knackered and living so stressfully is enough all on its own to make you feel like this, but could peri or meno be at play here? If so, might be worth going to GP to see about HRT. I know someone who has a very stressful home life and is very open with her GP about what is going on; GP has suggested trying HRT in case it alleviated some of it (as well as other things like CAMHS referral for child in question etc).

Can you contact them and ask about flowers for allergy sufferers? Eg https://www.flowersbox.co.uk/blogs/flowers-box-london/hypoallergenic-flowers-for-people-with-allergies

I would buy one type of flower each week and have a small vase or jug in your bedroom. If it kicks off an allergy reaction you’ll know what to avoid.

The vase is for you. No one else!

Can I please thank you all for your kind responses to my nonsense?

I'm definitely peri - I'm 47, work is shit, home is hard, I'm just knackered. Periods are all over the place. I'd thought about HRT but I'm not sure I can bear to add in more meds as I'm already on a variety for hypertension and high cholesterol.

I think I will look at my funds and see if I can eek out a few days alone (DH more than happy/able to look after the kids).

I will definitely try some different flowers - the arrangement this week has gladioli and we've not had those before so maybe they're the culprit.

A treat for yourself isn’t a small thing.

I hope you can find an alternative.

Is there any way you can drop some work hours / responsibility? Stress will be driving hypertension as well. In other news, HRT CAN be (in some cases) positive in terms of lipid profiles and hypertension, so it's not out of the question. Hope you do manage to get away and do something restorative for yourself soon. There comes a point where it is no longer a "nice to have" but an "essential to stop the wheels coming off" situation. Good luck OP.