Will try and summarize. Live in a foreign country (where my husband is from), dual citizen, 2 toddlers.
Due to my husband being in an industry where he’s often working nights, overnight, early mornings, differing shifts etc, I have been a stay at home mother since our eldest (now 6) was born. Prior to this I worked full time. We have NO family or support local. Mine are all in Scotland, husbands all live a 9hr x 2 flights away, so a full days travel and basically never visit as they do free childcare for my BIL & their other DIL and so never see my kids. My 18m old has never met half the family and only met his grandma twice. That be its own thread
I applied for a job thinking it was 2 days a week and at the successful interview was told it’s actually 4 days a week (30 hours). My 6yr old will be at school full time except for the school holidays, but my 18m old will not be. We qualify for support for paying for nursery but all the funded spots are mostly gone, all the ones in the nice nurseries are gone.
WIBU to not take the job because of the challenges of finding nursery for my youngest, guilt over putting him in nursery when I didn’t put my eldest in. I’d also not have childcare for my eldest in his long holidays off school and the job pays just above minimum wage. But would be nice to have extra money.
I feel pissed off honestly. I was so excited to have a job and be earning money again, to build our savings. My original plan was to go back to university to get established out here when my youngest is in school (they start early here so at age 3-4 he can start, so not too far off). If we had any family support it would be achievable. My husband is in a job he can’t change (think pilot type sign ups until he’s paid back his training costs). We also can’t choose where we live.
I just wanted some money of my own. But I feel like a single parent with zero support and we will be losing money/breaking even if I take this job. I was raised by my grandmother so my mum could work and my friends all have very involved grandparents. Yes I’m envious 😆 (but happy for them! Clearly I picked a bad situation in marrying my husband and his stupid job lol).
I know I’m also privileged to be in a position where we can afford to send me back to university in a few years and that I currently don’t have to work.
YABU- take the job moron
YANBU- in your circumstances there’s too much against it and too much stress