AIBU- husband sent photo in boxers

[FW1986]

So my husband announced a week ago that he is miserable with me and is leaving me although he’ll always love me and I’m his best friend. I’m absolutely heartbroken and would do anything to make him stay. We went to couples therapy today but said he was there for me to get the help I needed to get through this and would not be participating in any more sessions that his mind was made up and he’ll never change it. The catalyst he said was when I said “I would have left years ago if it was for the kids” when he announced he was going out for the evening. He said that hurt like hell and I can completely understand that and regret I said it. It was said in the heat of the moment after our son was playing on husbands phone and managed to get in his Facebook messages where he presented a photo of my husband in his boxers sent to another woman. I have tried to bring this up and even after saying he’s leaving he still says he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. This is why I said what I did as I was scared he was going out with other women. AIBU and reading too much in to this?

It’s over OP.

Sorry.

Sounds like he's trying to blame you to cover up for his own misdemeanors

I’m so sorry - he has someone else lined up. He’ll lie and lie - but that’s the essence of it.

Let him go, don't beg, he won't change his mind. Start planning your next move.

What did the counsellor have to say about his denying this had even happened? I’m not sure it’s worth spending time and money on couple’s counselling with him if he can’t even be honest about the events that have led up to this.

And yes I would unfortunately also suspect he is leaving you for an affair partner.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Unfortunately it sounds like the classic script. He already has someone else, he just doesn't want you to know this. He's trying to to gaslight you into thinking you've pushed him away and it's all your fault he's leaving. It makes him look good you see....
Classic mumsnet advice; get your ducks in a row, get copies of EVERYTHING without letting him know what you're doing so he doesn't try and hide assets/pension documents etc.
I'm so sorry, it's shit but there are thousands of us on here that have survived the same situation and are now living our best lives because of leaving our shitty, waste of space ex's. You deserve so much better xx

You must be completely blindsided. Just take it hour by hour. The Who What and Why of him leaving will still be there tomorrow. Just breathe. Make yourself a cuppa. Drink it slowly and breathe. Loads of support here.

They always do this so I can’t remember what it’s called something like DRAVO
Divert reverse attack victim something

He is seeing another woman and he's leaving you now, for her.

Don't waste anymore money on couples therapy. Get a therapist for yourself and a solicitor.

He sounds like an idiot. Of course it hurts to split, but sounds like it will ultimately be for the best. He is projecting his own cheating into making it your fault for your comment.

I don't understand how you could be reading too much into it - he's told you he's leaving, he sent a photo in his boxers to another woman. It's exactly what it looks like.

I'd be livid that your kid was able to access that though.

He isnt leaving because of what you said.

You're blaming yourself because you dont want this. Which is helpful to him becuase he is blaming you too, for completely different reasons.

You aren't reading too much into it, you saw the picture. You know what hes doing. And atm he thinks the grass is greener, and the only way youll get through this is by letting him.

Im sorry but its over. Don't be his "best friend" while he finds his feet elsewhere

Sounds like he's leaving you for another woman. Sorry to be so blunt, but you have to accept that it is over because the sooner you do the faster you can heal. No more marriage counselling with this scumbag and no more listening to his lies. He is dead to you from now on. Here's hoping you recover from this betrayal as soon as possible. I've been there. ❤️

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. DARVO. Yes, he is doing just that.

Sorry OP but it sounds very much like he's been having an affair and is leaving you for the other woman. He's not your best friend and he doesn't love you, he's just trying to keep you sweet. Time to find your anger and get some legal advice.

You're not his best friend, he's just blowing smoke.

Let him go. He's sexting at least one other woman.

It’s likely that he has found someone else.

Its also very likely he’s been messaging other women.

You deserve better than him.

Do not beg him to stay or question him as it won’t change his mind, he’ll just think he can have you back whenever he wants you.

Pack his bags got him and tell him that you are done and you want him gone ( no matter how much it hurts you to do so).

He was cheating on you.
Before you could confront him, he has decided he can’t be arsed with the drama so has used this as an opportunity to leave.

It’s over and trust me, you’re better off.

Wtf. He doesn't want to be with you, he's telling you and showing you. Listen.

I'm sorry OP, but he wants out and at that point its a losing battle.

It won't be anything you said even if he tries to pin it on you by saying it was. It's him. He's casting his eye round for another woman.

It might not seem like it at the moment but this is a blessing in disguise.
i think the MN cliche in this case is “the trash is taking itself out”
Good riddance!

There is another woman. It's not anything you did or said. He's just using that as an excuse so that he can make the break up your fault. Honestly, you don't want him to stay. He's not a good man