Am I being over sensitive???

[ForOliveMaker]

Just for context I am 8 weeks post partum with my second baby and I will admit that I am extremely sensitive this time around and have been struggling emotionally.

Also please bare with me it’s a little wordy to explain.

However I am genuinely wondering whether I am being hormonal and over sensitive here and feel I need some advice on whether I just need to get a grip on my emotions.

DP’s sibling has just had their first baby. Difficult birth and therefore may have to stay in hospital for a couple of days.

After DP received the message of babies arrival, name weight etc from their sibling. They initially asked whether I could go tomorrow to pick some presents up for the baby as I’m currently on maternity leave. (we’ve had to wait to find out gender as parents didn’t find out what they were having)….I replied and said yes of course, I would have both of our DS’s (8 weeks and 2 years) with us tomorrow but it wouldn’t be a problem.

We were then discussing when we will meet new little one to which I said ‘ah it will be few days if SIL stays in because we won’t be able to take the boys to hospital. To which DP replies ‘well I will probably go tomorrow to the hospital.’ I then replied with, ‘oh well I would love to come,’ to which his response was ‘well he’s my brother, you will need to stay with the boys.’

I immediately burst into tears, and he asked why I was so upset and couldn’t understand at all why it had sneeped me so much.

AIBU? I just feel like we share 2 children, we aren’t married or engaged (abit of a sore subject really as we have nearly been together a decade). We have extremely close relationships with both sides of our families. And it upset me that he could be so dismissive of my wish to meet the new baby whom in my eyes is my new niece / nephew despite it not being by blood.

Please go easy on responses- but also if I’m being a total drama queen I’m happy to take it on the chin!!!

Why have children if you want to be married?
Why are women doing this constantly on MN?
I don't come across it at all in real life, just on MN.
You need to think about what you really want OP, rather than compromising your boundaries.
You deserve that.

I think YANBU. You said you couldn’t visit because you’d have to look after the boys. Your husband has pointed out that you can’t either because you will need to look after the boys. I don’t think anything malicious or ill-intentioned is going on. I think you are being a bit sensitive on this one.

Exactly this! Tell him as it’s HIS brother and he’s gonna be child free he can get an outfit on his way there!
I’d go the following night leaving the boys with him!
as for his refusal to marry you - I do hope the boys have your surname or both surnames

It was overly sensitive - but that’s ok, we move on, it wasn’t that deep and your reaction has done no harm. You’ll see the baby soon enough, just remind your partner you’re in a sensitive place right now x

How great to see someone listening to others and reflecting.
Well done you OP and I too hope your post partum hormones settle.
Congratulations on your own new born.

Hmmm… well, I see lots of people are saying you’re being too sensitive, and maybe you are, but when I read this OP, my initial reaction was that he didn’t need to add the bit about it being his brother, like a trump card over you, instead he could have acknowledged your desire but pointed out the reality logistics wise. I think the outcome would have still been the same in all honesty, but the way he communicated felt like a wee flag to me.

I’d suggest noting it down so you can let it go for now, and later when you’re more hormonally balanced, reflect on the bigger picture of his behaviour towards you.

You don’t agree on the marriage thing, are there other discussions you’re not having as a couple that maybe you should be having, I wonder?

All the best, hope the close aged cousins works out well too!