To want to adopt some new habits/routines but finding it impossible?

[bonnemaman1990]

On the surface I’m working full time, demanding job, mum of three lovely kids, good relationship and lots of nice family and friends. Nothing to complain about and am generally happy.

However, recently, I feel completely burnt out and overwhelmed. I am reasonably fit and run/walk but really want to incorporate some weight training. Have hand weights at home and even ten minutes a day would do, but cannot be bothered.

No beauty routine beyond brushing my teeth. Would like to incorporate a bit of a routine, get my nails done occasionally but again cannot be bothered.

Most days I’m lucky if I shower. I chuck some old clothes on and again can’t summon up the will to care what I look like.

I know I don’t have to care what I look like, but I actually do want to make more of an effort with myself but I’m bone tired.

Likewise housework. I would like a bit of routine but I actively resist things like the Organised mum method even though I can see it would work really well.

I can see how meal planning would work but I can’t get off my bum and actually do anything about it.

I leave everything to last minute and then wing it and it ends up being more stressful.

Why can’t I make a routine or plan anything? Does anyone have tips or strategies for overcoming this.

I have read things like Atomic habits, can see how it would work but the minute I have a moment to myself I just cannot get out of my slump.

no medical issues, I’m peri but on HRT.

it’s like I have burn out and I can’t get myself out of it as things are ticking along ok but I know things could be better

Be kind to yourself you’re doing everything! X

I’ve been making changes this year and I’d say don’t try and do everything at once. Just pick one thing. Whether that’s ten minutes of weights, or buying and applying a nice moisturiser and sunscreen, or showering more often if that’s what you want.

I find once you get one thing in place it gives you a lift and the confidence to add something else.

There is also an app called Finch which is like a no-pressure Duolingo for daily goals. Tiny things like washing your face or taking three deep breaths. You can add your own goals and you get a cute little animal friend to cheer you on.

Sorry to trot out the tired old advice that seemingly gets given to everyone, but are you depressed, if you are sure there isn't something physical going on to explain the lack of energy and motivation? If you really really want to do these things, and have the time and equipment etc to do it, but just don't, there must be some explanation - either there's a physical or mental block? Perhaps worth seeing your GP?

Otherwise, the other thing that strikes me from your list is that it's quite a lot to want to change at once especially on top of an already busy life, I know individually everything you've listed is achievable but could it be you are slightly overwhelming yourself and so it's easier to not start at all? Can you pick just one thing from your list, whatever would make the most immediate difference, and then dedicate just 5 minutes, no more at first to progressing that thing, every day this week? Once you have really cemented that thing as a habit either increase to 10 mins or pick another thing to dedicate 5 mins to?

No advice but I could have written this! I decided I was going to start doing weights and managed about six days of weight workouts (non consecutive days) in the past month or so. I just can’t be bothered. Even knowing that I’m going to feel
like a blob when I go on holiday in a few weeks isn’t enough to make me want to do it.

I used to follow a cleaning routine, now I just cba. I still do the basics so it’s passable but not as clean /tidy as I like it to be.