to consider private school...

[MyLilacSheep]

... even though my husband thinks it's a waste of money?
Posting here for traffic.

We are thinking about moving house with 2 sons ages 2 and 1. We are thinking about schools. Husband is only considering house A because he can't see the value added in a private school.

House A is in a nicer area, rural, has a few small local primaries and a lovely nursery I have my eye on. Grammar school area, nearest is co-ed. House is a little more expensive. Closer to the sea

I found house B however closer to where we live currently, further from the sea, area still nice but not as nice, has a very small local CofE primary, single-sex grammar nearby. It also has a prep school nearby with an attached pre-school. It is an international school, so more opportunity for the boys to become proficient in another language. We can afford it, not very comfortably but we wouldn't be scrimping. House is cheaper here too by 45k. Husband not as keen.

I just want your opinions really on whether it is fair for me to be considering this, and your experiences of all the school options I have laid out. I am overthinking this like crazy and just want someone to analyse it for me! Sorry it's a long one, first time posting!

I didn't say I learnt my languages at school. One I learned as an adult from scratch. Courses and travel. and one I learnt in school (good level) but did again self study to get to a much higher level. A lot of language learning is related to studying, practicing and really hard work and dedication. It doesn't just happen - even if you attend am independent school. I guess OP is only fluent in English as she clearly doesn't know a lot about becoming fluent in other languages.

My Dc went to a great Primary school but when it came time for Secondary I knew that the provision in our area wasn't great.
DH didn't see the need for Private, he went to an excellent State Secondary while I went Private (full scholarship) BUT when we went to the open days for DD for both options he soon changed his mind
You do both need to be on the same page about it though

I don't think most preps are worth it.

It depends. The prep attached to DDs secondary school has a permanent Forest School section and they are out there in all weathers having an absolute blast. However for a standard prep Vs good state primary I would agree.

That's why I said most...

Also you need to research the birth rates in each area because the very small (state) schools may not be financially viable and be forced to close or merge with other small schools.

I also assumed that prep school in the English sense (ends at age 11 or 13) If the international school is aligned to the other country’s school system, you could be scrambling to find a school place because it doesn’t align with the English state system. What I mean is if the international school ends at age 10, you need a primary school for year 6 which is a risk that you might not want to take.

Good point about rolls.

We can afford it, not very comfortably but we wouldn't be scrimping.

Oh dear. No, you need to afford it easily and then some, OP. Additionally you BOTH need to be 100% on board and completely comfortable.

Boys do better in mixed schools, girls do better at all girls schools.

Thank you for all the responses, I think I will skip the prep thing then. I think I would constantly be evaluating whether it was value for money, rather than just getting on with it. The state schools nearby are teeny weeny (60-100 pupils) which I am unsure about.

What do we think about all boys vs. coed for secondary (I know they may not get in, will cross that bridge but if they do I need to be sure the environment won't be detrimental). House B has much faster access to London, not an issue now but may be when/if our job situation changes, Just food for thought, i'm thinking out loud really!

When you say 60-100 is that per year? Or total number for the whole school?

A village state primary (small or not) is usually a good place to park your kids for their first 7 years of education.
My children have had excellent educations at village primaries and extra curricular opportunities too.
if you’re very keen on them learning a language, sign them up with a private tutor when they are older.
Good luck with your decision making X

Knowing what I know now (2x kids in private school, y10 and y7), I would spend the money on the house and go the state route.

We’re in South East with a household income of £350k and school fees are breaking us.

Fees have gone up to compensate for increased costs from NIC increases, teacher pensions, loss of business rates relief PLUS 15% VAT.

Granted our kids have ADHD AND we’re heading into the two most expensive years with 2 kids now in senior school, but I wish we had thought a bit harder about all of our options.

We have a modest mortgage comparative to our earnings, drive 10 year and school fees are the single biggest expense we have.

I’d probably go Co-ed for secondary, assuming the local school is at least reasonable

DDs go to a prep school and we see the value in it. It offers far more than the local state schools (although they are perfectly good schools, but have classes more than twice the size, fewer facilities and specialist teachers, poorer trips and extracurriculars and more social and behaviour problems). Financially we are fortunate that it makes no difference to our budget for holidays or future support for university or house deposits. It was me who was particularly keen to go private, as DH didn't grow up in the UK and feels he is less familiar with the education system here. He was happy to defer to me and let me make the final decision.

I think it sounds like private could be a stretch so I don't think I'd consider it in your case. For secondary I think a co-ed school works best for boys (however as a parent of girls I plan to send them to a single sex school).