To think it’s weird PIL never visit?

[Halftermhellonearth]

Ever since I’ve known DH his parents never visit he just says there not the visiting type. But they visit all his siblings and his cousins. They will come over for birthday’s etc but never ring to ask whether they can come and visit. His brother lives 10 minutes from us and they go stay over once every two weeks and never pop in. DH usually visits two to three times a month if not more. I haven’t seen them in months because I’m tired of us always being the ones to go over which DH isn’t happy about. They are only an hours drive away! If we visit them were there for the whole day because we can’t get away. Sometimes it would just be nice for others to make an effort.

It makes me wonder if DH didn’t go over there how often we would actually see them.

Do you ever invite them ? If yes, what do they say? Do you like them and vice versa?

Do you invite them?

How about arranging to meet them somewhere else? Do they like a particular activity? Would they like berry picking? A style of restaurant? Trip to the seaside? At least if you try this you might get a better idea if it's your home that is the problem or something else.

Agree with pp question, do you invite them? My mum never visits me, well rarely, but I was the one who moved 250 miles away. Plus to be honest, it’s probably easier not hosting. I am planning to move an hour tops away from my mum next year, but I expect i’ll still be the one doing the visiting. I will visit my adult kids once I move away, I don’t want them being the only ones who have to travel to visit.

Presumably they visit the other family members, because those people invite them?

You seem to just be sitting waiting for them to make the first move. While they're waiting to be invited.

He already sees them a lot. If you want them to visit, invite them. I wouldn't be popping in anywhere, and I don't want anyone popping in here.

Is there something about your home that offends them?

Ask them over.

The MIL is probably on MN and knows she isn't allowed to just drop by or invite herself over but had to wait until the DIL decides its OK especially in a situation where you choose not to visit with your DH.

If you (or dh) said “are you free Sunday? Want to come for lunch?” Would they say no?
I see my dad once a week, I visit as he doesn’t drive /quite elderly. I ring him and tell him what day I’m coming. We see in-laws a couple times a month (live a hour away) probably 80% weeks visit as we will often stop over and see rest of family. We don’t wait to be invited (and vice versa)we just see when everyone is free.
With dd we see her every couple weeks (1 hour away) probably she comes over more but again she sees her siblings/dad etc.
People have different set ups , some have set routines/wait for invite and others are more fluid/open house.. Saying that though if I were10 min from dds house I would definitely want to call in.