Was I being unreasonable in saying this?

[Sheeralo]

My now ex coldly discarded me after 5+ years together by saying he didn't love me, never had, had been thinking about breaking up with me for a while but didn't, while continuing to be intimate with me, and I told him I felt used because of this. We are not young, both late 40s.

Was I justified in accusing him of using me? I couldn't believe what he said and I was really heartbroken.

Why are you asking? Surely you don’t need to justify anything you said?

You are not unreasonable to feel the way you do. Whether this is true from his side or not, he will know saying this will hurt you so fuck him. He's shown his true colours. And to be honest, joke's on him for staying with someone that long who he apparently had no interest in 🙄

I think you were justified saying it if that's how it made you feel.

Yes, I can't understand someone staying so long if this is how they felt

Your feelings are 100% justified and he is clearly trying to hurt you by saying these things.

Look on the bright side, it may not seem like it now in the rawness of the moment, but you’ve had a lucky escape if that’s how he treats his partners. Never thought to let you know when his feelings apparently began changing so you could communicate, work together and fix things but happy to throw in your face that he’s been wanting to break up with you for ages after 5 years together?!

Justified, but i dont know why you bothered. He was OK using you so he will be OK with you being angry about it.

The truth is not everyone who hurts you cares.

But honestly, it sounds like the trash took itself out

Please tell us you’re not still in touch with him and he’s blocked and deleted?

Don't dwell on what was said. It will be so much harder to recover if you do

No contact with him now - my choice - although he said "maybe we can stay in touch"!

Absolutely not unreasonable. But I think this is a clear case of him rewritting history and giving you the script. I'd bet my granny's Sunday hat that there's an OW in the background. He's trying to justify to himself why he's done what he has.

Let the fucker rot. You're better off without him.

He meant maybe he could come by for a fuck once in awhile. What a revolting bastard. Yes, you were justified in saying what you did.

Was I justified in accusing him of using me?

why on earth are you feeling remotely apologetic? He was horrible to you, that was a cowardly and nasty way to break up. Don't put yourself down!

It's not wrong to end a relationship when you feel it's over, it's very wrong to treat people like he treated you.

Lucky escape, he sounds horrible. Don't worry about what you said to him as it's the truth.

Thanks everybody, good to know I didn't overreact.