Comments about second baby gender

[Thewrongtrouserss]

DH and I expecting DC2, we recently found out that it’s another boy.

We have been really shocked/disappointed at the reactions of our friends and family. Lots of comments along the lines of never mind, at least you won’t need new clothes, etc. One family member threw a scan photo back at us as they were so disappointed!

The thing is DH and I are happy, we had a scare early on in the pregnancy when I had a lot of bleeding and on the combined screening which came back high risk for downs (NIPT was low chance) so we are just pleased baby appears to be healthy. AIBU here to think people could just be pleased for us? I’m already worried DC2 won’t be loved as much by our family.

Well, they’re really weird people and I’d have no hesitation in telling them! I have 2 sons, never had any comments like that but my family are normal!

One family member threw a scan photo back at us as they were so disappointed! That is disgusting behaviour. I would cut them out of my and my children's lives.

I have 3 DS’s and lots of similar comments, I just replied I’m so lucky and that seemed to shut them up. Once each baby was born the comments stopped.
Occasionally as my boys got older I had the odd comment but had a few liners that seemed to work.

Does commercialism make it right ?

I actually think people make more assumptions based on hair than clothes. Both my son and my nephew have been mistaken for girls despite wearing quite stereotypically boyish clothes, simply because they have slightly long hair. Not long enough for a ponytail, just not cropped close to the head!

I had two boys and most people were fine about it, but one person, who I regarded as a friend at the time, carried on pestering me about whether I was going to "try for a girl" until the boys were about 15 and 14. She later turned out to be a rubbish friend for unrelated reasons, so I wish now that I'd told her where to get off. I'd actually always wanted two the same, whether they were boys or girls, just because anecdotal evidence from my friends and their siblings suggested they'd be more likely to get on well.

I think I would be quite outspoken about this - "you may have been hoping we'd have a girl, but it's our baby and we are very happy with what we're getting, so please stop trying to suck the joy out of the situation for us!"

Well I will need to get more clothes as some of DS’s were ruined or sold. If I was having a girl I would have got some from that section? That doesn’t mean I was hoping for one or not happy about another boy?

I don’t think someone chucking the scan photo back because they were disappointed, was them feeling bad for me as I don’t get to shop for girls clothes!

I’m the same @modgepodge, I even got a congratulations card from a friend congratulating me on having “a kings family”.
Id never heard that before and if im honest it did make me feel a bit meh about her from then on in.
As for your relative throwing the scan photo back op that is disgusting on every level

It could be worse. My ex-MIL had only brothers and then had 3 sons, so said she would give 5,000 francs to either my SIL or me, whichever provided her with a granddaughter first…

YANBU at all.

I no longer have any qualms about telling anyone who comments on how nice it is that we have one of each, that my second child was actually another boy. He died.