Partner overly-praises his own cooking

[WhiteNoiseBlur]

I tend to end up cooking for my family (partner, myself and two kids) most days. This is not by agreement, but mainly seems expected. Once every 3 weeks or so partner will cook something for us. Tonight it was a sauce over chicken with packet rice. Perfectly fine. But he spent the whole meal saying things like, “This is so good! Mmmm, this is just so nice!” etc. This is not because he’s not getting thanks - I always say the dinner was lovely when he cooks. He just seems to need excessive praise for doing what I do every damn day! It’s so annoying! AIBU to find this so irritating?

‘You should cook more often, darling, since you are such an amazing chef. shall we take it turnabout?

Yep I agree!

I'd be saying 'Aye right Gordon Ramsey what are you making for is tomorrow then if you are so bloody good'

Same in my household - one cooking performance every blue moon and oh, the analysis, the recognition, the applause...

Utilitarian everyday feeding of the troops (usually a female job) never gets a mention. It pissed me off so much I basically stopped cooking once my kids were old enough to sort themselves out. Fuck that thankless shit.

When I cook for the family now, it does get praise and recognition because it’s no longer taken for granted. And that’s the key.

I can’t believe people get wound up about the most ridiculous things

I'd give him a sideways look and say, 'It's a jar of sauce and packet rice, David. It's hardly cordon bleu. But feel free to cook the rest of the week if you think your cooking is better'.

Don't stab him with your fork Op, it's not worth the hassle. Tell him you think he could get really good if he cooked more often, suggest a few easy meals he could try out and use the time to do something for yourself. Don't forget to praise him when he does or he'll go off the idea

Same here. I produce gourmet extravaganzas on the regular and it barely registers. He cooks once in a blue moon and needs huge and excessive praise. I give it, to encourage him to cook.

Yeah - sexism… who gives a shit eh?

🙄

My dh always gives me a rundown of ALL the jobs he has done. Takes 5 seconds. If I bothered doing the same it would take much longer because I do more.
For example, he tells me he has unloaded the dishwasher. Great. I don’t mention I have cooked, cleared up, wiped down and loaded said dishwasher.

PERFECT reply for you @WhiteNoiseBlur

I have listed every bloody task I've done when I hadn't fainted in wonder and thanked DP for doing some minor thing I had to ask him to do.

Yup. Of all the things to get het up about, this barely warrants a mention.

Just say great you can cook more often then. How about tomorrow, will leave it up to you and when tomorrow comes and he expects you to cook just say but I thought you were and walk away

Yeah, I get this in my house....from my 15 year old.
(And since he was incautious enough to criticise my cooking today, he's in charge of budgeting, meal planning and cooking for the whole of next week. No son of mine is being released into the wild with unchecked performative twat tendencies!)

If using this to encourage him to cook more often doesn’t work, I’d probably perform the same analysis and praise of whatever I cooked the next night. And the night after.

And if he’s foolish enough to comment, just say that if he can sit there and praise himself to the high heavens for cooking one dinner every 3 weeks, you owe yourself just as much praise for doing it the other 20 evenings.

Why are you cooking jsut because he expects it? Do you also do the laundry? Do you both work?

My ex used to run through each stage of the cooking process. "And then I grated two carrots and added them to the softened onions, then added a teaspoonful of coriander before just leaving it to simmer for seven minutes." Current husband can't find his way to the microwave. Great improvement.

C'mon. Didn't you realise that men's egos are ginormous and need way more massaging than women's? It's a medical fact.

No son of mine is being released into the wild with unchecked performative twat tendencies!

Love this! I thought I was doing quite well with mine, but the youngest son (teens) has just been to stay with his older sister who said to me disapprovingly, 'He didn't know how to clean the toilet - but he does now!', so between us he will hopefully be trained by the time we set him free.

I agree that the poster was ridiculous, but what does sexism has anything to do with it?

It would make 0 difference if it was a gay couple.

we need the laughing emoji back 😂

Mmmm I really love what you've done with the packet rice ,you must give me the recipe.. prick!

"Yes, it's delicious darling. I expect it's all the monosodium glutamate and flavourings they put in the packet and jar stuff."

Same here OP. Husband cooks twice a month. Always talks about how amazing his own food is. It can be pretty good, sometimes as good as mine. But it’s infrequent. Drives me crazy

he fishes for compliments A LOT. Also show cooks for guests every time so they think he’s the main cook in our house and I’m so lucky to have a modern husband