Is my mum an alcoholic?

[SweetLikeCandy10]

I live with my parents, it’s just my situation at the moment so please don’t judge.

For the past few years, probably since around early 2022 I’ve noticed she drinks on a night, and she’s only got worse.

I never actually SEE her drink, I’ve only caught her sipping wine once. At first I was worried she was having a stroke, or had a brain tumour! She will be sober as a judge, say she’s going for a bath or to get ready for bed, and come down less than half an hour later wrecked. Slurring, stumbling, falling asleep. Doing silly things. She does get a bit nasty but I’ve learnt to ignore it.

she holds down a part time job, and wakes up with no hangover! She’s in complete denial. I feel like I’ve lost my mum.

As another person who had a mum ab alcoholic I would say yes - the secrecy, the slurring of words Yeo absolutely

sending vibes of support to you ❤️

Well i feel very sorry for your Mum.
Sounds like she is trying very hard to hide her drinking if you never see it , apart from her sipping.
I know it's difficult but you need to call her out on what you are seeing and how you are experiencing her behaviour. You need to try and talk to her.

She's wrecked less than half an hour later? Are you sure she's not taking drugs? I mean, the alcohol could be interacting with a medication she's on, or she could be drinking alongside taking a strong painkiller like codeine, co-codamol, or oramorph.

Al-Anon UK | For families & friends of alcoholics

My mum was like this. She didn't appear drunk earlier because she was drinking just enough to keep herself going. Then would gulp red wine (high strength) or spirits on her own and it would hit her like a brick. She didn't have a noticeable hangover because it was a permanent state of feeling rough or topping up, so it was a different experience to an occasional drinker.

There's very little you can do, and it's a horrible position to be in, I'm sorry.

I was dating a man who was an alcoholic several years ago. He could be totally sober and normal one minute,then he'd disappear for an hour because he had to 'see someone',then come back slurring his words and unsteady on his feet. Didn't take me long to realise what was going on,I had an alcoholic father so I was familiar with the signs.

Are you sure shes not taking any medication? I was on gapabetin and it made me appear drunk

my mum is exactly the same. I don’t live with her but she can go from being totally fine and coherent at 5pm then slurring her words and pulling weird faces (on FaceTime) an hour later. She uses vodka to medicate her depression. She has been secretive in the past and denied it but we did make progress last year where she admitted it and promised to stop. She went from December until this month without drinking vodka (she was still drinking but I don’t think it was daily and it was a can of cider or glass of wine, instead of vodka). Even so, I felt like I got my mum back, but we’re back at square one now.

i am sorry that you’re in a similar situation. If you do confront her, read up about how you should go about it first. Calling her an alcoholic will put her instantly on the defensive so approach carefully x

Thanks everyone. It’s about a week now since I’ve actually seen her sober. Last Wednesday night during a drunken rage she told me she’s “sorry I’m a single mum with 2 kids, and that no one wants me apart from for one thing” wow. I’ve not had an apology nor do I expect one. I’ve asked her so many times to try to get help and told her how much she’s hurting me, everyone around her and most importantly, herself.

But the bottle is more important to her apparently. I’m going to have to find a way to get my own place somehow, as I need to put my distance between us for my own health. I wish I could have her back how she was and that she’d just see that she has a problem.

Hi OP just to say my mum could say SPITEFUL things like this although she was worse to be when I was a child. not an adult. My alcoholic mum could be a spiteful, spiteful abusive bitch!!!!!!!!!

I totally empathise OP because having an alcoholic mother is an AWFUL club to be in

my mum was dead not that long after I entered adulthood