Wasn’t really sure what to put in the title.
Basically there is a backstory to mil and dil favouring sil (dhs sister) and her children. She’s not a single parent.
Sil spends a lot of time with mil & fil. They provide childcare a few times a week, they go on holiday together, generally hang out together.
Our dc are a bit older, so at the stage where they have parties, clubs at weekend. But we have made huge effort to see dhs parents regularly. We have bent over backwards to make an effort and have always put ourselves out, no allowances were ever made when our dc were small and they’d often arrange things where it was obvious it would be very difficult for us with small children.
Anyway, every time we visit in laws, sil and her family have to be there. So Dh never gets to see his parents alone. If we ever arrange to visit in laws always say they’ll have to check if sil can come.
That in itself isn’t so bad, but then we find out that sil is at her parents all the time. Dinner once a week, barbecues at weekends, popping in after childcare, oil looking after her dc and picking them up from nursery on the other days.
We are never invited to these dinners/barbeques.