Birthday & Xmas presents for your spouse

[Sweetpea59]

After 37 years of marriage I am absolutely stumped on what to get dh for his 61st birthday. We are mortgage free so we take long weekends or go for meals whenever we want. He has enough clothes & stuff for his hobbies. He has no idea of what he would like himself. The only thing we need right now is to decorate the lounge & buy new chairs.
Some people just give up with birthdays & Xmas at our age, but it feels so joyless waking up on your birthday & Xmas with not even a small surprise.
Have other people of a similar age & long marriage given up too?

Can you just get each other small consumables that you like but might not have day to day? Favourite chocolates, whisky, cheese hamper etc?

If you have a disposable income you can buy what you want, when you want, within reason so it's pointless buying specific items for Christmas or birthdays. Most people want to choose their own things and buy them when they're needed/wanted or they see them at a good price rather than pretending they're Christmas/birthday gifts.

I make DH a cake. He doesn’t need/want anything either.

Something personalised?
Like a personalised wallet? One of my dh's favourite gifts was simple photo keyring of the kids.
Or something funny?
Or organise something like some friends coming round?

We often get each other an activity or experience (which you both get to enjoy together or just for him).

Theatre / gig tickets, a trip somewhere, a spa day, helicopter ride, motorsport track day, cooking class, scuba diving, afternoon tea, tasting menu at a nice restaurant etc etc. Whatever he / you both are into or just something unusual or fun.

Much better than more "stuff" he doesn't want or need.

A national trust membership for you both? Or a membership to some other local attraction. A meal or an afternoon tea at a posh restaurant (Michelin star?).

Doesn't he have any hobbies?

We haven't done Christmas presents since about our third Christmas together. It's so pointless.

I do get him birthday presents but struggle hugely and never feel I've quite hit the mark. He doesn't really know what he wants either so it's not easy.

Mostly given up.

Sometimes if we see something when we're out and about we'll buy it and say "You can have this for Xmas," even if it's June.

I think you reach a point in life where more "things" are more of a burden than a blessing.

We tend to do consumables and tickets too.
Chocolates, coffee, gin. We don't need any more things.

Could you give a donation to a charity on his behalf? Maybe the local food bank?

I received a present that wasn't appropriate for me (£50 of chocolate just after I had been diagnosed as t2 diabetic) so I gave it to the volunteers at the local community shop.

Of course he does but he buys things for it when he needs them and he gets to choose what he wants.

Hobby themed gifts are the worst - either inappropriate so useless and a waste of money or you need to specify the item so it's not a gift, just pointlessly making life more complicated than it needs to be for show.

Maybe something related to his hobby, or just an upgraded version of something he already uses and would like an upgrade or a replacement, and it could be pretty much anything, from a fragrance to all kinds of tools. You can also make birthday videos with his photos (but make sure you take enough new pictures each year!) and use different templates and music every time.
My parents are simply giving each other money and/or cook something each of them likes, and my father also brings my mum flowers. Getting cash as a gift isn't exactly romantic, but then again, you can get something you specifically like with this money, so it's a win-win.