To think not everyone’s cut out for leadership and that’s okay?

[PoliteAmberMentor]

We’ve glamorised “boss energy” so much that we’ve forgotten how rare good leadership actually is.

Can you elaborate??

Absolutely right. I was in a leadership role and I fucking hated it. I was good at it but I hated it, it made me miserable, and I realised I just wasn't psychologically suited to being a leader.

Now I do a job I absolutely love where I'm in charge of no one but me and it's great. I have accepted that I'm not a natural leader and I'm comfortable with that.

I just think there’s a real difference between having authority and being a good leader. These days, people equate leadership with confidence, visibility, or “main character energy” but real leadership takes emotional intelligence, accountability, and the ability to bring out the best in others. Not everyone has that and that’s okay.

Some people are brilliant in supportive or specialist roles and forcing everyone into a leadership mould doesn’t always bring out their strengths or serve teams well. Just become someone doesn’t want to lead doesn’t mean they’re lesser. And just because someone does want to lead doesn’t mean they’re good at it.

Of course not everyone will be a leader in a work environment. But most people will step up at some time to lead a group in some context. A volunteer group, main organiser of a hen party, an extended family trip.

Agree entirely. I spent fifteen years in my last job, during which time I could have applied for progressively senior roles - but I didn't. By the time I left I was one of the two most experienced and longest-serving members of my department but I was still in a relatively junior position. I was asked many times why I'd never made Team Leader or Supervisor and I always answered that I was not a leader so I didn't apply for promotions. So many people equated experience with leadership without realising that one doesn't necessarily lead to another. There was also the fact that I really didn't need the extra aggro and hassle for not much more money! The bar has been lowered too; at one time it took about five years' service to be considered for a TL position. Now it is nearer three and not even with the full compliment of skills hitherto required.

100%. I can sometimes execute leadership mainly due to sheer length of experience and the skills and knowledge I do have, but a full time leadership role is not for me and I think it’s good that I know that.

100 percent. Like our prime minister, hes no leader just wants to look after himself.

Who’s he, T1?

I think ‘boss energy’ is made up social media bullshit and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.

Usually by people who are totally devoid of skills and believe that The Apprentice demonstrates good management.

Personally, I refuse to go into management; I'm a developer, and I like building cool stuff. I would rather be at the top of my game as a dev, and I don't see becoming a manager as a step forward or upward. In most jobs, I just end up as an informal leader - the one that people (including managers) seek advice from. To me, that's a vastly better place to be.

Apart from anything...highly skilled people tend to have a lot of job security. Middle managers are largely expendable when it comes to cost-cutting time.

I get you. Yes - and I agree there’s a difference between a boss and a leader. Someone I know once told me that a true leader (who can also be. A good boss!) recognises that they’re not the best in the room. Will empower others and often earns respect. A boss (who is not a good leader) can expect respect and often will take all the credit. Cannot necessarily grow a team.

some people are naturally good at leading - but I see it more as guiding.

A good leader recognises the strengths and weaknesses of their team and deploys them accordingly. Bosses just want the right result, by any means.

Bottom level Management, fine, bottom level leadership fine, the Management above, utter shit show. Over promoted as useless at the base jobs ime.

YANBU, but I actually think a lot of leadership roles are filled by people who are poor leaders. In my experience the people who I actually think would be the best leaders don't actually want or aspire to have the responsibility. Instead it is typically power hungry, bullshitters with overinflated egis who go for the posts and usually get them.

Hmmm. I both agree and disagree.

I agree in the sense that some people clearly find that leadership comes a lot more naturally to them than others. I also think there is often pressure to advance your career, be ambitious etc and that overlooks the fact that some people are just better as work horses / people doing the doing rather than the leading, and are happier in that place. I'm one of those people I think. I'm academic and hard-working and full of ideas and confident in meetings and therefore have always been pushed towards leadership but I'm actually crap at it, and find it incredibly stressful, and I wish I found it easier to just accept that and embrace my level!

That said... I'd also argue that a lot of people have the capacity to grow new skills and shouldn't have their leadership potential written off just because they don't thrive at first. Leadership also has so many different aspects to it, and I think most people are a lot better at some of those aspects than others. I don't think I've ever met someone I consider the perfect leader, and I've worked under a fair few.

Absolutely agree. I am not a leader (at least not in a workplace context) and recognising that has done wonders for my mental health.

This is how I feel too! Apparently I am good at it and very respected. I’ve had at least one person who told me I was the best manager he’s ever worked with, and several others who have expressed similar sentiments.

I still hate it and don’t want the stress and responsibility. So much that I’m quitting my job and taking a career break. I need to figure out a well paid individual contributor role that I would be suitable for.

So true! I know if I was a manager I would be compassionate, dedicated, empathetic and conscientious.

However I am NOT particularly confident, or assertive, outgoing or a natural leader.I also struggle with too much responsibility in the field I work in (it's the sort of job where there's quite abit of risk assessing and if I got it wrong there could be serious consequences for people's lives)
So it won't happen.

You've described my boss

Same here. It’s not for me.

I used to think that, and then I became a mother. So I have to be the leader, wanting it or not. I don't think it's a choice, is it? (Funnily enough, it gave me the skills to be the boss in work contexts)

I took a closer look at their leadership before investing, and seeing Mark Morabito at the helm gave me some confidence because of his long track record in mining and raising capital. It helped me feel more comfortable watching how their projects unfold and how they talk about building shareholder value.

That's very true op

I agree with you. I think this especially true in nursing. Good nurses don’t necessarily make good leaders and definitely not good managers. But I’ve also known people who aren’t particularly good clinical nurses who become really good leaders and climb the ladder well.
I think the NHS isn’t particularly good at supporting leadership.
I am a national leader. I hated being a manager (before I went into nursing), but I like to think of myself as being a strong advocate of people, including my own very good manager.

OP this is so true. I am self-employed and run my own business, but honestly - if I had to employ anyone I would crumble! I'd try too hard to be their friend just so they would like me, and earn their "respect" that way. I totally agree with you - not everyone is cut out for it. And that's totally okay!