I have a dear friend I have known for about 7 years.
She has had anorexia her entire adult life. She is now in her 30s. She goes through periods of what I would call semi-remission - where her eating isn’t front and centre of everything, although she retains disordered eating habits throughout that time, she is a healthy weight.
When she goes through periods of change in her life, she relapses and cuts right down on her eating and loses a lot of weight. She’s been through the ED clinic on the NHS but said it didn’t help her. Basically, the advice they gave was basically to eat more and keep a food diary and keep bringing in the food diary for her fortnightly appointments where she was weighed. I’m no expert but surely there is more to this than simply telling her to eat more? Isn’t that like telling a depressed person to try being more cheerful? They gave her no help trying to create a healthy relationship with food and in the end they discharged her as she didn’t keep up with their expectations.
She is very self aware. She knows she needs to get help but at the same time acknowledges that there is a part of her that doesn’t want to get better because it’s such an ingrained part of who she is. She’s also terrified of getting fat, and sees being able to control calories so well as a badge of honour as most people find it so hard to lose weight. She knows this thinking isn’t normal.
She says I am the only person she talks to. I’m terrified of giving the wrong advice. I never comment on her appearance, regardless of what size she is and have tried directing her towards increasing her self esteem instead - as it seems that everytime a light is shone on her ED it makes it worse and not better. She’s relapsing again and looks incredibly thin. I am worried for her. I have suggested going back to the GP and requesting alternative therapy but is there anything else I can say/do??