Ex husband’s financial support from parents

[BigBumble]

Recently separated from ex husband and I’m feeling envious of the financial help and support he receives from his parents. Ex is in a decent job and I’m in a low paying position. I don’t receive any financial help from my parents although I wouldn’t expect anything.

Examples -

She regularly takes him shopping and pays for a large (£100) food shop.

Regularly hands him a £50/£100

He’s taking one of our children away soon and she bought a big bag of new clothes for ex, tops, shorts, trainers, hats and all new stuff for DS that’s going with him. Also gave ex hundreds for spending money etc.

Buys him expensive coats and video games. Buys all his underpants and socks and books all his doctors appointments and attends with him (!)

When I take the children away I will have to fund everything including buying all clothes and finding spending money, I save up for this myself I won’t have any help. I would love for someone to buy me a big bag of clothes and shoes lol.

AIBU I’m feeling envious?

Well yanbu to feel it obviously but that's about it. I assume he pays CMS at least? Does their gran not buy the kids some holiday bits? If he takes them away, make sure it's clear that he needs to provide the wardrobe, swimming gear etc.

Not unreasonable to feel hard done by in comparison. My mum was like this - always bunging us money, just because. My husband’s parents never did it.

We’re now the same with our young adult sons and live to treat them.

A man child is not attractive. An adult who can't book and attend a doctors appointment? Wtf?

He sounds pathetic. What grown man with children lets his mother make his doctor's appointments?

Goodness I expected a bit more than she buys your DS clothing and picks up the odd grocery bill.

i thought you were going to say… pays for the mortgage!

Why is he only taking away one child?

does he live with his parents?

Don't feel envious, just rejoice and feel thankful that you've got rid of the manchild back to the stupid mother that raised such a pitiful excuse for an adult.

My mum regularly passes me twenty or fifty quid to treat myself. I simultaneously love her and hate that I feel like a child. Op look at your examples- the odd shopping? A video game? It’s nothing to do with you, just gifts probably because he’s separated and she feels it’s the only way to help. Ignore!

My folks “accidentally” paid for things for me for years after I left home. I hope to do the same for mine.

I thought you was going to say he’s struggling financially after the break up and they’re helping him find his feet by doing grocery shops etc and you begrudge him the help.

But what she is is doing is really excessive. It’s understandable for a parent to want to help their adult child, but there’s a difference between helping and enabling.