To ask if anyone else can't follow instructions in medical appointments?!

[WhenIwasyoungersomuchyounger]

After I had a CT scan yesterday and tried to lie the wrong way on the bed?! 😳

@Nannyfannybanny 😂 I was perplexed the other week being asked to do a urine sample in a GP appointment!

I had to go and get a kit from reception, go to the toilet in the GP surgery and carry it back through the waiting area past the other patients to the consulting room.

It was one of those pots without a lid too, so I was trying not to spill it, whilst carrying my bag and cardigan!

Aahhahaha love this

Me too! For a kidney CT.

Yes same here and because I had to have a full bladder I was worried I'd wet myself!

I hate it when they dumb their language down so far that it makes no sense.

I had an eye exam where I had to be very still. At one point the dr told me he was going to "put some freezing drops" in my eye. So I was expecting a very cold sensation. A little while later he said he was going to touch my eye with something, and I instinctively flinched and pulled back away from the chin rest. He was annoyed (turned out to be because he now had to reset everything and start the examination again pretty much from scratch).

"What about the anaesthetic?"
"I've already done it."
"When?"
"I told you. I put freezing drops in your eye."

FFS I would have followed his instructions - they weren't exactly complicated - had he actually been clear.

@soupyspoon I was a superwoman too! But didn't feel like one! 😂

At least it was very quick and I can't complain at all, I got a cancellation for the same day my GP requested the scan, so thank you NHS!

🤣🤣🤣

@Mimsykins @soupyspoon Yes, mine was a kidney CT too and yes, I was worried about wetting myself too!

I'd Googled beforehand and it talked about inserting dye and everything, so I was slightly confused when I just had to lie on the bed for 20 seconds!

At least I'd put on a crop top, so there was no need to take my bra off! 😂

I am a doctor.

I still went to a recent medical check up, where I was having an ECG, in a long, high necked dress. Only realised when she asked me to undress my top half, that I was going to have to either take the whole thing off, and have the ECG in my bra and pants, which felt a bit excessive, or try to wriggle it down over my shoulders and arms to my waist, and risk ripping it.

I wouldn’t worry - those people have literally seen it all!! And if it made them chortle so much the better 🤣

I had a flexible cystoscopy a couple of years ago, and I felt like I was on an episode of Holby City, like all the staff knew their lines and I'd just blundered into set ruining everything cos I didn't know what to do!

They tried to say it's just like a smear test, but I thought, there's too many people and it's not the same entry place! 😳

@SockQueen That makes me feel so much better, knowing that even doctors can do silly things when they're the patient.

It's probably cos I'm just a bit of an overthinker in general!

I was being examined by a hospital doctor for a shoulder problem. He asked me to stand in a certain place and hold out the affected arm. I did as he asked but for some reason I pointed at the floor as he did when he showed me where to stand. He looked like he was trying not to laugh and said You can relax your other arm. A little thing but I felt really stupid!

@Judiezones Sorry, that made me laugh! I would totally have done that and then felt mortified at myself! Hope your shoulder problem is better now 😊

I used to be a nurse and have loaded people into the machine head first, so I don't think youre outlandish to think that was the way to do it.

My mind goes blank the instant anyone tells me instructions or directions.

I had to have a repeat CT kidneys, I'm VERY claustrophobic, I ended up yelling on the last one. The contrast dye tissued it was really painful,so I was in the tunnel a long time. When I went for the following one, there was a big notice saying if you're claustrophobic, got mobility issues etc etc please ask to speak to the radiographer first. I did she just shrugged, said "you'll be fine". She didn't bother to tell me that I was going in feet first and only up to my waist!

Not about instructions but funny I thought! I had to go for a colonoscopy at the hospital where I worked. I'm nights on a stroke ward. I am laying there, camera whipping round the bowel, the consultant looks down at me, said "I'm sure I recognise you". That's fun! I ended up on the gynae ward having a d and c and laparoscopy while doing the gynae clinic, very cute young Australian reg. I joined Bupa at that point,that was TOO much.

Hilarious thread, thanks to contributors. Hope you are all ok after your crazy tests 😊

Yep. Had to get a second X-ray because I didn't understand the instructions. About 3 seconds of afterthought allowed me to realize that I'd been completely stupid.

That’s hilarious

I'm surprised you weren't shown how to lie on the table, OP. I had a CT scan about a year ago and was instructed to lie on my back with my head at the end (feet going in first). We had a bit of a discussion about where the triangular support pillow was going as I wanted a pillow under my knees but then I'd have had no head pillow apparently! So was allowed to bend my knees with my feet soles flat. Can't lie with legs flat as my back will go into spasm. Thankfully the whole thing was over in about 2 minutes!

The whole scan took just 20 seconds?!

I find a trip to the opticians exhausting! Look at my left shoulder, up down, right, left. Better with 1 or 2, which is clearer. So many instructions. I find the dentist quite relaxing as I don't have to do anything!
Several incidents during breast cancer treatment. A breast MRI was complicated. They had me put 2 gowns on; one to open at the front which I kept on during the MRI then the other at the back to cover everything up which then got removed. Putting them on in.the wrong order would have messed everything up! Then getting into position so my boobs were lined up with these holes.
At my planning appointment for radiotherapy, I had to learn this deep breath technique which would move my heart. My first attempt went very wrong and I got the giggles so badly while lying on the world's most uncomfortable bed/table thing. The staff were very good but I just couldn't stop. It was actually quite easy!
Getting set up for radiotherapy treatment is very precise so you have to sort of go floppy and let them maneouver you, took 2 or 3 sessions to get there as it feels unnatural not to move yourself.
I also, accidentally, pulled the emergency cord in the loo there one day.

You win the internet today! I have tears rolling down my cheeks, laughing so hard.