Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, party prep burn out and husband not done the two jobs I asked

17 replies

ChirpyCyanFawn · 18/07/2025 23:34

Its our daughters birthday this week, having family and friends over for lunch tomorrow around 35 people.

I have spent all my non working hours this week cleaning the house from top to bottom, party prepping, food shopping, food prepping, more cleaning, buying things for the house needed to host that many people…extra chairs etc. I’ve not gone to the gym this week, not done any of the things I usually do in my free time for my mental health…walking etc.

A month ago I asked my husband to fix a main kitchen drawer the front has come off and all our drawer contents either show or fall out. I asked if possible if it could be done before the party tomorrow. He hasn’t done it.

I asked today if he could sort a pile of paperwork out before tomorrow, it hasn’t been done.

The party is from 11.30am tomorrow. I will be doing food prep etc. I asked him if it was possible he fixed the drawer and did paperwork sorting in the morning but he can’t as he’s going park run before the party!

I don’t know if I’m just stressed because it’s been a long week of party prepping, taxi-ing children and working but I just find it very very frustrating that I’ve only asked for 2 things of him in help to this party (not big things either) and he’s done neither. AIBU?

OP posts:
Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 18/07/2025 23:38

He'll have to get up earlier then. Don't do it yourself. He's a selfish pig

JulySheWillFlyAndGiveNoWarningToHerFlight · 18/07/2025 23:40

My DH is always back from Parkrun by 10am…. Don’t they all start at 9am?

HeidiNotSoHeavy · 18/07/2025 23:41

You are very unreasonable doing it all by yourself and who on earth thinks it's appropriate to bugger off for a park run just before you have 35 guests arriving?

HeidiNotSoHeavy · 18/07/2025 23:41

You are very unreasonable doing it all by yourself and who on earth thinks it's appropriate to bugger off for a park run just before you have 35 guests arriving?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 18/07/2025 23:43

Once everyone leaves, put your feet up and make it clear that you expect him to do ALL the clearing up since he’s let you down so badly in the preparation.

Biids · 18/07/2025 23:46

Monumentally selfish to go off running and pleasing himself when there are 35 guests coming that day.

Pathetic not to have fixed the drawer. I suppose you can shove the paperwork in a cupboard.

Either way, total selfish prick, thinks he’s the most important.

Round123 · 19/07/2025 00:06

I would genuinely hide all his trainers. Then say he can have them back when drawer is fixed

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 19/07/2025 00:25

Round123 · 19/07/2025 00:06

I would genuinely hide all his trainers. Then say he can have them back when drawer is fixed

Haha yes this!
And he had to clean up. You should boom
Yourself a hotel for the evening of the party and tell him house needs to be sorted before you're back the next day

thelakeisle · 19/07/2025 00:58

ChirpyCyanFawn · 18/07/2025 23:34

Its our daughters birthday this week, having family and friends over for lunch tomorrow around 35 people.

I have spent all my non working hours this week cleaning the house from top to bottom, party prepping, food shopping, food prepping, more cleaning, buying things for the house needed to host that many people…extra chairs etc. I’ve not gone to the gym this week, not done any of the things I usually do in my free time for my mental health…walking etc.

A month ago I asked my husband to fix a main kitchen drawer the front has come off and all our drawer contents either show or fall out. I asked if possible if it could be done before the party tomorrow. He hasn’t done it.

I asked today if he could sort a pile of paperwork out before tomorrow, it hasn’t been done.

The party is from 11.30am tomorrow. I will be doing food prep etc. I asked him if it was possible he fixed the drawer and did paperwork sorting in the morning but he can’t as he’s going park run before the party!

I don’t know if I’m just stressed because it’s been a long week of party prepping, taxi-ing children and working but I just find it very very frustrating that I’ve only asked for 2 things of him in help to this party (not big things either) and he’s done neither. AIBU?

I think you mean that he is NOT of course going to Parkrun and will do the jobs you should not have had to remind him about tonight.

Or it's time for marriage counselling. Make an appointment right now.

HonoriaBulstrode · 19/07/2025 02:02

Whose idea was it to have a party with 35 guests that requires so much prep, to the extent of buying extra furnture? Did your daughter choose that for her birthday party? Did you discuss it with your husband, or unilaterally decide it was happening?

SpinachSpinachMoreSpinach · 19/07/2025 02:30

There is no way I’d ever get involved in organizing such a large party unless my husband was totally on board and doing his share of the hard graft.

I am guessing yours has form for this kind of “I don’t give a toss” lack of cooperation… so why do you choose to martyr yourself?

pucksack · 19/07/2025 02:36

Obviously he should help but a party for 35 is a fair amount of prep, are you crazy? 😆

You need to get cleaners in & buy as much food as possible pre made eg M&S ready to order. Or hire a hall, far less stress!

abracadabra1980 · 19/07/2025 02:54

Round123 · 19/07/2025 00:06

I would genuinely hide all his trainers. Then say he can have them back when drawer is fixed

🤣

PollyBell · 19/07/2025 03:03

If having 35 people is going to turn into an event that would rival the coronation why do it? If he wanted 35 people i would tell him to organise it himself and of ot was i would not be dictated by given jobs

Helping each other is good and normal but this doesn't like it

99bottlesofkombucha · 19/07/2025 03:17

dh, you haven’t contributed at all to the organisation and prep for this party. If it’s family coming; If you go to park run I will tell all your family it’s cancelled.

non family: if you don’t start working hard immediately then you clearly don’t care and you aren’t welcome at the party. You haven’t done the two things I asked if you, and there is a lot of food prep in the morning. If you’re at park run you can’t be helping and you’ve done nothing so far. Don’t you actually care about your child? Should I relabel all our presents as from me, which is the truth?

HonoriaBulstrode · 19/07/2025 10:42

dh, you haven’t contributed at all to the organisation and prep for this party.

'DW, this party was all your idea. I didn't want it, dd doesn't want it.'

if you don’t start working hard immediately then you clearly don’t care and you aren’t welcome at the party.

'Great, it's my idea of hell anyway. You can deal with the tears when dd is overwhelmed by it all.'

Or maybe the party was all his idea and he's left all the prep to op.

99bottlesofkombucha · 20/07/2025 03:26

HonoriaBulstrode · 19/07/2025 10:42

dh, you haven’t contributed at all to the organisation and prep for this party.

'DW, this party was all your idea. I didn't want it, dd doesn't want it.'

if you don’t start working hard immediately then you clearly don’t care and you aren’t welcome at the party.

'Great, it's my idea of hell anyway. You can deal with the tears when dd is overwhelmed by it all.'

Or maybe the party was all his idea and he's left all the prep to op.

I don’t know any little kids who don’t love having a birthday party. Mostly they start taking about next years party about an hpur after their current birthday party fInishes. Parents don’t have to love it, I actually hate changing pooey nappies and my dh has never once thought that a good reason for me to just opt out? If I started on the list of things I don’t enjoy about parenting I could fill the thread. But I love my dc very much and it’s worth it

New posts on this thread. Refresh page