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AIBU?

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Was I being too sensitive or was it a joke made in bad taste?

11 replies

jaybird76 · 18/07/2025 18:57

Colleague and I are both in our late twenties.

Back in April, a guy I like asked for my number. I’d liked him for a few months before that. When he first started talking to me, leading up to asking, I had seen him a few times while I was with a work colleague (a friend?).

Since April, things with him have been a bit up in the air. That same colleague has often quizzed me about where things are at with him, or what’s happened. In June, he and I stopped talking, and in July we reconnected.

She’s repeatedly said she finds him “weird” for one reason or another, and always questions what I see in him. He’s older, so I’ve just chalked it up to that and maybe older men aren’t her thing (though, she has a mortgage with her long-term partner, so she's not really in the dating scene). She's also joked that she thinks I'm “in love with him,” so she clearly knows how much I like him.

Anyway, I saw him today on my lunch break, and she was coming back from an outside event. When she got back to the office, I mentioned, “I saw him at lunch,” and she said she’d seen him too. I replied, “Oh? Whereabouts?” And then she turned and, with a bit more than just a jokey tone, said:

“With me… in my bed.”

I was a little taken aback. I seriously didn’t expect that kind of response, and I made that clear. She seemed to think I was being too harsh and that I “switch up” too quickly. She then tried to explain that it was “just a joke,” and I told her I wasn’t confused about what the joke meant, I just didn’t get why she’d say it. She kept repeating, “Oh my god, it was supposed to be funny.”

Was I being too harsh? Or was it just a joke in really bad taste? I did my best to smooth things over because, yes, it’s silly but I honestly don’t get why she’d say something like that.

OP posts:
TheignT · 18/07/2025 18:59

It wasn't very funny but I don't think it's a big deal either. Hopefully she's got the message and it won't happen again.

Stillundertheduvet · 18/07/2025 19:01

Weird thing to say but I also think you’re taking it too seriously. Don’t talk about your love life at work maybe?

Fairyvocals · 18/07/2025 19:01

Not wildly funny but not bad taste. Just a bit insensitive.

steff13 · 18/07/2025 19:03

I don't find it particularly funny. She wasn't in bed with him so obviously it was a joke. I don't even really think it's in poor taste per se It's just not funny.

I can't imagine being taken aback by it, it's not exactly a shocking comment. It was just a poorly thought-out joke. So I do think you're being too sensitive.

MagneticSquirrel · 18/07/2025 19:17

She was just teasing you, it’s not funny but it’s not in bad taste or even worth getting upset about! Sounds like you completely overreacted … a better response would have been “was he any good?”

KrisAkabusi · 18/07/2025 19:27

It doesn't sound like a particularly funny joke, but it does sound like you over-reacted to it.

Insomniapain · 18/07/2025 19:36

It doesn't sound like a joke to me.
It sounds like her deliberately trying to wind you up and upset you.
She seems to be taking a great deal of interest in this guy. I wonder if she actually fancies him herself and the " he's weird " description is a cover.

SallyDraperGetInHere · 18/07/2025 19:39

Insomniapain · 18/07/2025 19:36

It doesn't sound like a joke to me.
It sounds like her deliberately trying to wind you up and upset you.
She seems to be taking a great deal of interest in this guy. I wonder if she actually fancies him herself and the " he's weird " description is a cover.

Agree 100%

JMSA · 18/07/2025 19:39

She’s jealous.

Dangermoo · 18/07/2025 19:44

What a weirdo! Her, not you.

Bigmothahen · 18/07/2025 21:04

It was a weird shit joke on her part, but I don't think she intended it to be malicious. Sounds like she was testing the boundaries as to what jokes she can get away with with you. Not in a nasty way - just in a bantery playful way, like what you'd do when becoming better friends with someone. Clearly your sense of humor isn't the same as hers and that's absolutely fine!

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