OLD disaster stories… cheer a girl up!!

[lackofvitamindd]

After yet another ghosting, I’m feeling pretty glum… rather than dwell on that nonsense cheer me up with some disasters or fun stories…. Happy endings stay away…. For today at least!!!!

I love Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure.

So many awful dates through OLD. I had nightmares about it for several years after I did get married! There was the guy who ended up in tears, one who span some weird story about Lion King tickets which didn't materialise, then grilled me about whether I wanted children, and another who for some unknown reason I slept with and it was absolutely dreadful. He banged away so hard it brought my period on, but I thought he'd damaged me in some way. I belted off home, miserable, and he was wounded when I said I didn't want to see him again! I also went on dates with the same guy a couple of years apart. I was pretty sure it was him, but went anyway as he was okay the first time round and I couldn't remember why we'd lost touch. Turned out okay wasn't enough, and he didn't remember me at all!
But, hideous though OLD can undoubtedly be, it kept me hopeful and in the game, as it were. And when I met my now-husband (not through OLD) I was very sure he was right for me, having met so many who definitely weren't! Good luck x

My ex OH booked us a spa day as treat (not that long ago). I got locked in a therapy room after a massage. The masseuse said she'd leave me to get ready, I nodded off, woke up in a panic a few minutes later to find the door locked from the outside. After screaming frantically for about 5 minutes a member of staff let me out desperately trying not to laugh, ex OH in tow who didn't even bother to contain his amusement, pissing himself laughing behind her!

Had a phobia of massage ever since!

This is exactly how I read the thread title! 😂

I later met my <now> DH OLD who is the kindest sweetest person ever. He does most of the cooking, my laundry, ironing, cleans the house, does the garden. He's wonderful.

Are you sure it was OLD, and not an job agency website?
(Only joking… He sounds fab!)

Pre OLD, there were personal ads in the newspapers (yes I'm old). I answered a guy's ad, he dropped me a note, I called him, we arranged for him to come pick me up for a drink. He arrived, I said I was just going to pop a tape in the VCR (like I said, I'm old) and I would follow him out in a minute. I go out and he's nowhere to be seen, he literally had bolted in the couple of minutes it took me to program the VCR and head downstairs! Difficult not to take that very personally!

My friend met a man, they went to a nice wine bar and he went up to get the drinks. After a while he returned empty handed and said they refused to serve him because they operate the challenge
25 (if they think you are under 25 they can ask for ID) and he had no ID on him. Friend suggested going elsewhere but he insisted on staying and he gave her cash to get the drinks. He was 31. She was younger and they didn't ID her.

I don't think I will ever do OLD again.

Met a man who obviously used pictures from 10 years ago, and, without being unkind, he had gained about 4 stone since then and lost half his hair. Despite the lie, I carried on with the date, but in the first two hours, he was trying to persuade me to become a carer for his elderly parents and to invest in property with him so we can all live together. I was young and not very assertive and still didn't dump him, but in a week he called me to say his dad wanted to meet me in my home to see if I would fit in with the family. I dumped him then!

Just to reassure you all, if this happened now, I would have walked away in 10 minutes. Can't tolerate liars.

Just remembered my friend met a man who arranged to meet her 2 hours away. When she got there, he ghosted her! She tried ringing him to see where he was and he didn't answer, even though he had messaged her just before she got on the train. She ended up just getting a meal and then went home on the train. He never contacted her again since arranging to meet with her in another city.

I'm glad to say she is happily married now to a decent human being!

Many years ago, I met a guy on a Monday night for something casual (don't judge, I was young, hot and daft). Had a great night, snogged his face off etc.

We agreed to Friday/Saturday night together. For a bit of fun and to save the awkwardness of splitting bills, he would book and pay for a hotel on the Friday, I would do the same for Saturday.

I booked an exec room at the Hilton. He did not.

Turns out he'd booked the Britannia Sacha, which is famous for being one of the UKs worst hotels, often frequented by working girls.

I was incredibly attracted to him, but I couldn't get over how disgusting and dirty the room was. No windows, so it was like a sauna and it stank. We'd had a little fool about on the bed but the spark had completely gone. I got up and asked him about it and he seemed completely oblivious. "It was only £35 quid!" he shrugged.

I told him I'd booked the Hilton and he said "Oh, well grab your stuff and I'll get us a room there." So he wasn't even skint, and that somehow made it worse. I made an excuse that I was feeling ill which he clearly knew was bullshit, but still walked me to my cab, bless him.

Lizard neck 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I actually can’t with these stories 🤣🤣🤣😭

his neck was strange, like a lizard

Ha ha, I hate that.. the worst! 😂😂

100/10 ladies you’ve cheered me up no end. I’m just reading these to a friend. And loving the fact a previous poster thought I was a journo happy Saturday xx

First guy - are you sure it wasn’t a scythe?

Second guy - strange topic but otherwise okay

Third guy - what on earth was he thinking????

I also had an experience with a man and a knife in a flat, that was the only time I was scared but I’ve wasted so many hours meeting men who do not resemble their profiles AT AllL. Just why?

I once went on a date with a guy that I initially walked past because he didn’t really look like his profile picture. He was a photographer, so he knew the tricks to look really good.
He was nice enough, but there was no real spark and he didn’t really take no for an answer for a second date.

Another guy, was really still hung up on his ex. He’d fell asleep after dtd and said his ex’s name. And then met up with her and ended up in jail over a weekend because he’d pushed her.
So that was that.

There was also a guy I’d tried to sleep with on a second date, no condoms, so no sex but lots of other stuff. His cats tried to get in during….and then he let them in when we were done and they proceeded to lick his…..ewwww (not his penis btw)

This'll out me if anyone I know is on here, but what the hell...

I'd just split up with someone and was trying to let rip. Met a boring but attractive younger bloke OLD and after dinner and a lot to drink, went back to his. Taxi home afterwards. Too boring for me.

Couple of weeks later, another OLD date. Liked this one. Went home with him too. His house looked familiar and when I went to the loo and recognised it (I'd had a LOT to drink the first time, remember) I realised they were housemates.

Frantically texted my friends while I was in the loo. They were pissing themselves laughing. Don't know how, but I convinced Number 2 to drive me home. He wasn't best pleased, because at that point we hadn't even kissed. To add insult to injury, he got lost on the way home after dropping me off and tried to call me for directions but I ignored his call.

Turned out later that they were mates and No. 1 had reported to No. 2 that I was a goer on the rebound. That was the end of my wild and risky behaviour sadly.

1. Never thought of that, so I've just googled pics of both, definitely a machete! Still strange if it was a scythe! Who does that in their back garden?!

1. He was very odd and boring.

1. I seem to be a weirdo magnet!

@ginaseverndid you ever ask him why he wore that?!

No. To this day I wish I had! I was only 17 at the time and honestly didn't know what to say. An older me would definitely have asked.

Jesus. That’s so scary.

I have some corkers...top 3 are...

1. 'psycho roy' Romantic meal. I went to wipe somthing off his face. He proceeded to bite my finger to the point blood was drawn while I tinkle laughed and thought I'd lost a finger.

2. 'perfume dave' He kept telling me how lovely i smelt all night of incest.

3. 'nut job john' pub and game of pool. Drive past pub. He goes silent. 'Hes doing a fucking job first'

I'm disconcerted to the point I try and jump out of car on a bend like a low grade james bond. Child locked doors.

We pull up to a derelict house in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere. Where he starts taking sheets off the back into house. I can't see my hand in front of my face it's so dark. I literally start spitting all over the car to leave DNA as I've watched too many Netflix documentary's. He opens passenger door and sprays me in the face. I think it was either a fire extinguisher or air compressor???

After what felt like an age holding my breath...he jumps back in car and said 'Jobs done!'

We proceeded to the pub after chatting normally as I could muster. Attempting to escape out of the toilet to no avail.

I asked friendly barkeep to call me a taxi. My date then called me a fucking liar. Why?I lied about my height. As I had wedges on. He then grabbed my foot and took my boot off as I hopped around on one foot.

I left walking to taxi 6inche higher on one foot. I fucking loved them boots but thankful to be alive

Was the bus driver called Joe my any chance. Sounds familiar.

No, he was called Matthew but who knows what he calls himself nowadays!

I found out all sorts after he left- that he’d “bought” a car from a colleague, never paid for it then traded it in a part ex, caused no end of trouble for his ex landlady and threatened court proceedings when she tried to evict him, told everyone his landlady wanted to adopt him (the fool was 30 years old).

Totally dodged a bullet there!