Decor

[Hickories]

How do you deal with a partner who disagrees with your home decor ideas? I hare curtains and wanted blinds in every room. He said curtains are better. I wanted to havecolour on the walls and he said white walls are nicer. I wanted a proper 3 piece suite but he wanted just a casual sofa. We ended up splitting up because of it. I now live alone and can please myself how I decorate my home and I recently painted the kitchen yellow

Interesting one. I have v strong ideas about decor and DH really doesn’t care so I have free rein. I think I’d struggle to accommodate someone else’s views.

Well people either find a compromise or do what you did and split up because they are not compatible. There are really not many other options...
Enjoy your yellow!

Broadly, our rule is that the person who cares enough to do the buying and the selecting of said decor and gets there first gets their choice: if you weren’t motivated enough to do that part, you obviously didn’t feel strongly enough.

We agree together on the big things we both appear to care equally about, like paint colours, new sofas, and big pieces of artwork etc. I wanted bright walls, he wanted pale yellow, we have white. We are both agnostic about our sofa, but it’s fine. DH isn’t fussed enough about the rest to get around to choosing and buying it, hence pretty much everything else in the house is to my precise taste and he doesn’t dislike it. (With the exception of my gorgeous Eames lounge chair, which he has despised since it arrived over four years ago but has never been pulsed enough to find a replacement for.)

It's like men leave toilet sear up. My dad never did that at home. I had a workman use my loo. The toilet seat was down and the lid was shut.he left seat up. Why didn't he leave it as he found it

Marriages are hard work sometimes. It snmot just about the love you have for one another. So in this situation, either you both learn to compromise, or you are at a stalemate and no ones bulges so nothing gets down or you split up.

my guess is splitting up wasnt just about disagreements about decor.

my husband and I often agree, argues a lot about decor 😆 but I almost always “win” because I know what he likes and I make sure i have already incorporated his needs in my suggestions. 20yrs together helps to know (plus i found him (and men?) quite predictible - dont tell him 😆😆).

little things I do without even discussing it like lamps. We have a wall light issue at the moment with 2 cables still dangling in the stairwell as I havent found the ones. At this stage, if it was up to him he would go and buy anything that is mot too bad.
i need to feel a connection with pieces as I curate my home. So he waits 😆😆

it helps that I am an interior architect and can take the expert card!

but joke aside, i say to my clients all the time to listen to each other and conpromise - it does sometimes feel like therapy. I am the translator and put the families needs and way of life at the forefront of their dream / vision and then I create a story for them.

My husband definitely wouldn't care enough about the decor to split up over it and neither would I 😂tbf though he does have good taste and we mostly agree on stuff like that

My husband has definite ideas about decor. He says it’s because he grew up in a house full of inherited furniture and hated the antique style of it. Fortunately we’ve been able to compromise and mix styles up a bit, which suits us both. It’s tricky though, because this is your house and your living space.

I’ve got strong views about how I want the house to look and he mostly goes along with them although will occasionally veto (although mostly because he suspects I’ll start something get distracted and he’ll have to roll up his sleeves to finish the job!)

but I think @ComtesseDeSpair sums it up well. I will never buy a new TV because I have zero interest in spending time considering it. Likewise he feels the same about sofas and blinds

That's one way of dealing with it, OP!

When I met my exH 25 years ago, we had very different tastes. He was very 'minimalist' (everything in his flat was white). I was (and still am) old fashioned (dark wood, thick, patterned curtains etc.). We definitely influenced each other over the years through compromise and I suppose just an appreciation for each others preferences.

We split up 5 years ago after 25 years together. Last month I repainted 2 rooms in my house and strangely, when I reflected on this afterwards, I realised that I had chosen colours that he was very much into all those years ago. So, I think your tastes can crossover.

I'm glad I live alone now

Ok

We both agree that we can't have everything our own way so I might choose the wall colour and he can choose the sofa.

I'd absolutely hate to have someone think they can just unilaterally decide how our living space should be.