Family swimming times - AIBU?

[FamilySwimming]

Just looking for a sense check on this one.

The two local leisure centres only have certain very limited times for family swimming, meaning in the kids' pool. So if I want to take my 2 year old swimming, the only times we can book are between 12 and 2pm.

My 2 year old eats lunch at 12 and then has a nap every day. Surely this is pretty standard for any child who has one nap per day?

AIBU or is this an absolutely insane time to schedule family swimming? I feel like I just won't be able to take her swimming until she's stopped napping completely.

I spoke to them on the phone and they basically said that my toddler's meal and nap schedule isn't their problem, but I was under the impression that this is most toddlers' meal and nap schedule, hence the AIBU.

My 2yo eats at 12 and naps straight afterwards for 1-2 hours. However he would definitely be fine (unless he's had a very early wake up) to be pushed longer and eg swim until 1, quick food, then nap. You keep saying maybe SAHM have more flexible routines - I don't think it is anything to do with that. my kids go to nursery FT but it depends on the child as to whether they can be flexible or not. My son can. My other DC at this age would have had a fit.

On nursery re naps - have you asked them what happens if a child won't sleep if they have such tight ratios? With DC1 whilst the other kids were sleeping she would refuse as a 2yo. They definitely need a spare staff member. Unless they drug the kids to make them sleep? [Joking but I remember reading a news article about that happening in a nursery a while ago 😥]

Because the kind of people who can just adapt their children's meal and nap times depending on whatever exciting things they have going on that day and are available to take their children swimming on weekday lunchtimes on a regular basis are probably SAHMs or at least not working full time, right? It's not rocket science.

When you're working full time and your child's nursery sets their routine five days a week it's not so easy to just deviate from it, and when moving meal and nap times causes your child to have meltdowns you don't do that without a good reason.

It's just a shame because I get so little time with her and so few opportunities to do things like take her swimming, and on a rare week when I'm actually at home with her I want to be able to do the kind of things SAHMs get to do all the time. But no, the kids' pool is closed to actual kids except at lunchtimes.

Anyway. We'll just drive 10 miles to a pool where we can actually swim at a sensible time.

Gosh

I'm genuinely baffled that Mumsnet of all places seems to think it's perfectly normal for the kids' pool to be closed to kids except for two hours at lunchtime.

I agree with you. Leisure centres are shit at thinking about things like this. I frequently look for a family float session or inflatable session a during school holidays only to find, oh it’s once a week at 3pm on a Sunday only. They dont seem to adjust their schedule at all to make the most of the potential of kids being bored and neeeding fun activities in the holidays. Nope, once a week fun for the kids only, we absolutely need 5 hours of lane-only swimming every day and can’t eat into that. Don’t get me started on Everyone Active and their absolutely insane booking system that makes it impossible to find the session you want and then only lets you book and pay for one ticket at a time. And then they suggest you ask a friend to book a second ticket for you…! Who only books one ticket for a fun giant inflatable swim..?!

So most likely the kids' pool is being used for swimming lessons most of the time during holidays, and they open it up for toddler swimming while the instructors are taking their lunch breaks.

Sounds like a reasonable and quite profitable way for them to structure their day.

You are really quite opinionated about how other people should be allowed to use their time while feeling very entitled to have your own preferences accommodated.

They’re never ever going to please everyone though. And not even everyone who has a 2 yo.

Fully agree with you. I have the exact same problem with my 2 year old and the local leisure centre. Family swimming is 12-2 and it’s v annoying. I have taken my 2 year old a few times, but she’s so tired and will often fall asleep in the car afterwards without eating. It’s incredibly annoying. The times are not very family friendly in my opinion.

I’ve never been a SAHM ever. My children had a flexible routine - partly because we wanted to be able to do stuff, partly because they wouldn’t keep to one if I tried it (not even at nursery).

As they have every right to be.

Their lives don't have to revolve around you & your child's schedule!!

(and no I'm not retired, unfortunately many years off it yet)

It is a bloody Everyone Active one!

What a misnomer.

Apparently I was like this as a baby - or rather it was 10 - 10. I’m a night owl now and would love a routine that meant waking up at noon! 2 am til noon sleep time would be my idea of heaven as an adult.

I was the eldest so my Mum was free to let me sleep those hours!

Because they also have lives to live & having been up since the crack of dawn don't want to wait until 10 before they're allowed to go to the bank/PO/try on clothes... then go home over lunchtime to go out again for other bits, but be back, out if the way before the kids come out of school.

Oh my, I cannot believe the entitlement and rudeness in your replies!!!

THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU.

Ofc that does not mean you’d actively make up a disability for your child to go swimming at a time that meant they didn’t have ‘jet lag’ (WTF does that mean anyway?). I mean fraud comes to mind, let alone a lack of human fucking decency to even give that as a reason why you are not being entitled and rude.,,.

Fucking hell, swim times are the least of your problems. Personally, I’d be prioritising teaching your children kindness and acceptance of others (which you don’t have). Maybe find a nursery all year round….

Do you usually struggle so much with reading comprehension?

Most leisure centres have always had toddler swimming at lunch time. They did back in the 90s when my children were small. Schools use the pools for lessons during the morning and afternoons. It's not going to change because you don't like it.
As an aside my retired friends have very busy lives . They volunteer at citizen advice bureaus, conservation projects , all kinds of charity work , ones a JP. They don't get up in the morning and decide to hang around to go to a bank at 12.30 to annoy very important working people.

Sorry, what? In the 1990s it was normal for toddlers to only be allowed in the toddler pool at lunchtime?

I grew up in the 1990s and the kids' pool was open almost all the time. We had our swimming lessons in the main pool where our feet didn't touch the bottom. This stupid business of only being able to swim for half an hour at 3am on Thursdays at full moon and only if you reserve in advance was definitely not a thing when I was a kid.

Spot on. I’m actually shocked by the language and lack of awareness that parenting a child with additional needs is way more fucking challenging than adapting a nap schedule by 30 mins.

Surely this is just a wind up? It really cannot be true.

OP, you should be so fucking grateful you “don’t know what ‘inclusive” sessions mean” - I bet the millions of parents of children with disabilities in the UK equally felt it was such an unknown phrase.

Oh and you already said about it being for children with disabilities so the quote marks only emphasise your self-centred ways.

and no, I’m not a SAHM. And yes, I also pay my council tax and highest income tax. And no, I don’t think that means every facility is designed for my own purposes. And yes,I am fully aware of the deficit in council funding and that my council tax doesn’t cover the costs of most of the LA services. And yes, as a mum of a toddler now I will be fucking delighted to get to ‘old age’ and will be using the GP, bank and shops as I wish.

Entitlement and lack of perspective around other people’s needs is going to be far more problematic for your children than a 30 min delay to a nap.

You really are struggling with reading comprehension, aren't you?

I clearly said I wasn't going to book that session. I actually said I was going to drive ten miles to the nearest public swimming pool where I can actually take my child swimming at a suitable time rather than book that session.

The point I was making is that it is pretty fucking ironic that a chain which calls itself "Everyone Active" and has "inclusive" swimming sessions is not actually inclusive of any little kids who aren't able to swim between 12 and 2pm.

Ha. No. No issues with comprehension at all. In fact you’ve just summarised it beautifully - you see your nap schedule as being at the same level of accommodations required for children with disabilities.

It is comparing chalk and cheese to compare provision for disabilities (WHICH ARE AMAZING TO SEE) to your nap schedule… and as I said, this only highlights your entitlement and lack of perspective on the needs of others.

Being inclusive of children with disabilities is so far removed from accommodating rigid nap times… imagine if that’s what was meant by inclusivity!

Oh apologises, I should edit my post to include quote marks around ‘inclusive’ like you have done to reallllllyyyy emphasise how unjust it is that they are providing sessions that are inclusive of children with additional needs WHOSE PARENTS WOULD LOVE A 30 MIN NAP DELAY TO BE THEIR BIGGEST ISSUE (for two weeks a year as well).

oh and before another ‘it must be because you are…’ starts, I don’t have a child with a disability and thank my lucky stars I don’t need to be searching high and low for somewhere that is trying to provide sessions they can attempt to access…. Bemused how you can see these sessions as a reflection on them not ‘really being inclusive’ rather than a huge leap of progress in the UK. I wish I knew where this pool was - think I’d be paying for more inclusive sessions anonymously 😘

I have absolutely no issue with inclusive swimming sessions.

My issue is with the fact that they are not actually inclusive of any small kids who aren't able to swim during a specific two hour window at the same time each day.

It's great that they are inclusive of people with disabilities. It's just annoying that they have chosen not to be inclusive of certain other groups.

Is it so unreasonable for a parent to be annoyed that a pool designed for toddlers is closed to the public for 22 out of 24 hours a day?

I don't seriously believe that the rest of the day is genuinely taken up by children having swimming lessons in a pool designed for toddlers which is only a metre deep.

Give them lunch at a different time!

Take DC swimming at 12 and have lunch after. Then can have nap on the way home. Alternatively, have lunch earlier.

My 5 year old’s swimming lessons are in a pool 1m deep. HTH