Nothing to say to each other when Dd not around

[Pinkpantheratthepub]

Dd has always been quite high needs for various reasons, we alternate sleeping with her at night etc. She’s started to go to friends houses for a couple of hours to play now. When gone, it’s silent, me and Dh literally have nothing to say to one another or I feel too tired to and we both just scroll on our phones.
Not normal is it?

Perfectly normal for us!
When both my children (rare) aren’t around we sit in silence, enjoying the ability to listen to our inner thoughts without disruption.

Why does it bother you?

It sounds peaceful. You must both be exhausted, and need the quiet. If you're worried it means you will never have anything to say to each other, don’t be. It will get better as you get more time on your own.

Are the visits to the friend's place planned a couple of days in advance? Maybe one a week or would be good to have a date when DH - didn't need to be anything big it expensive especially at the start. Might help spark some more conversation about how you're both feeling right now.
I'm on maternity leave right now and feel like I have nothing to DH right now because I do the same thing each day and don't see anyone right now!

How old is DD? Do you have time to do your hobbies? How is your relationship generally?

Can you schedule watching something together? Like a film or a series?
Make an event of it if you like
For example agreeing what time you'll sit down to enjoy it and have luxury snacks to go with it
And then discuss your thoughts after!

Companionable quiet is one thing, especially when life is noisy, but ‘nothing to say to each other’ is another. Which is it?

I love relaxing scrolling on my phone with DH doing the same for a couple of hours some evenings! We'll put something on in the background and just chill out.

We've always got something to talk about - work, parents, plans, DIY decisions, but just being comfortable together switching off has never felt like a bad thing.

Try dinner at the table while shes gone and chat or share memes even