I know there are more annoying things in this world but still...

[Chronicworrier123]

I'm sure I'm being unreasonable. But at 41 and now officially peri-menopausal I've started doing everything everybody tells you should be doing (i.e. eating more protein and start lifting).

I must say I actually do enjoy it and do plan to sign up for a Hyrox race in due course BUT everybody says that it takes forever to get muscular, need very specific diets, etc... but I seem to get muscle mass fairly easily (or more easily than the average person).

So I just have to accept I'll look more like a CrossFit person rather than a yogi/Pilates practitioner because my body prefers to be a certain shape.

You’re lifting weights, so your body is going to take the shape which exercising the parts of your body you’re exercising gives you. If you want a lithe, flexible yogi body then you need to focus on yoga and flexibility training, with things like body weight exercises thrown in.

ETA: You don’t need a very specific diet or to be eating masses of protein to build muscle and tone at the level I imagine you’re working at. A lot of the information out there is aimed at men and specifically men looking to bulk, not women looking to strengthen and build functional muscle.

I do both! And I don't lift heavy :/ my heaviest dumbbells are 10kg (I also use a 16kg kettlebell for lower body) but it's all at home.

And I spend even MORE time doing spinning/riding a bike (about 5 hours).

I almost spend equal time doing yoga/pilates as much as I lift.

I actually don't eat/take that much protein (120g), but even without it I still was fairly muscular. I've seen an improvement in my performance so, I'll keep it, but again I'm not doing anything super crazy either way.

Try a few sessions with a PT - ideally one who works with women clients as equally as men. Everybody - and every body - is different and often it’s just about learning the exercises which work the muscle groups you personally naturally work less and the ones which focus on your core rather than shoulders and thighs. I got into lifting first with a regular gym PT who wasn’t as experienced working with women wanting to build strength and flexibility, and when I moved to one who did focus on those things, the difference in the parts of my body being worked and where I put the muscle on was noticeable. If you build muscle quite easily, particularly in your biceps and glutes, things like Romanian deadlifts, military press, and hip thrusts are likely a better bet than squats and swings.

But at some level, you are correct: the archetypal yogi body isn’t achievable for everybody - even many yoga teachers, my yoga instructor isn’t willowy, she’s just built more robustly.

It's my trapeziums and triceps that develop first, and then potentially hammies and abs. Maybe my pecs come next.

Which seems like an odd mix

The kettlebell has helped massively with my saddlebags. I'll try with a PT, I don't know anyone but I definitely would need someone who isn't judgemental that i don't necessarily like the muscular look.