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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partners behaviour

6 replies

camshaft · 15/07/2025 21:52

So I’m having a particularly bad time at work. Won’t go into the details but I really needed to offload, so I started talking about it to my partner and how I feel. He showed interest for a few minutes and we had a 2 way dialogue, but then he got a text whilst I was mid sentence, opened his phone and started watching a clip of whatever had been sent through…
I sat astounded and called him out on it, told him he was rude and that he clearly wasn’t listening to a word I was saying/ didn’t care. He apologised, but this is a common occurrence. His communication skills are dire and it’s really starting to get to me. he will frequently go out (on his bike, for drinks with his friends) which I have no issue with but he’ll give me
an approx time and never sticks to it. He’s actually said repeatedly that he won’t change so I should ring him and ultimately be a nag!! I shouldn’t have to nag! Surely sending a quick 30 second text to say that the plans have changed and I’ll be home later isn’t hard??
We’ve been together nearly 6 years.
I’m not sure how much more I can take as I feel so bloody unimportant to him. But then I question If I’m being a diva and need to get a grip! Life could be worse!
AIBU? Does anyone else have a similar situation and do you have any advice?
thanks in advance x

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 15/07/2025 22:07

Would he be that rude to his mates? His parents? Sounds like he’s too comfy and you’re right to call him on it…
in terms of talking, do you do dining table / no phones / no tv at mealtimes? Could you go for a walk out together?

i hope your work situ improves too

ThymeandBasil · 15/07/2025 22:14

He is being totally dismissive of you as a person OP.

He is actually showing you contempt.

If it has got to this stage is there any point continuing with your relationship?

I think it's ultimatumum time. If he can't or won't treat you with respect and consideration and, importantly, communicate with you, then you might as well end things with him.

camshaft · 15/07/2025 22:15

@AbzMozhes addicted to his phone. In fact we both spend too much time scrolling if I’m being honest on evenings. We don’t have phones at meal times and promote screen free time to our children (we have 2 each, none with each other). I have tried to instigate phone free time on specific evenings but it falls on deaf ears.

He probably would be that rude to his parents and his mates to be honest!

OP posts:
camshaft · 15/07/2025 22:19

@ThymeandBasilI sometimes feel that way, as I think I deserve more respect. He says he loves me but I don’t think he truly does because you’d make an effort wouldnt you! He is dismissive of me quite a
lot. If I get upset over something that he’s done, he’ll give me the silent treatment like it’s my fault and I’m being dramatic. Says he’s giving me space cos I’m clearly pissed off but in my opinion he should be apologising and grovelling!

OP posts:
Dangermoo · 15/07/2025 22:41

Find somebody who will appreciate you. He's taking you for granted.

RentalWoesNotFun · 15/07/2025 22:47

Dump and move on. Sorry OP. You deserve better.

We all deserve respect. If there is no consequences for his actions he won’t change. He tried to train you by giving you consequences (silent treatment) so he knows how to manipulate.

Fuck that. Get your ducks in a row. The longer youre with him the less time you have being happy. He’s not the one.

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