To send my DC to nursery with a cold?

[Cloudbow]

Nursery have told us that there’s a child in my DCs room that is vulnerable to respiratory illnesses and to think about it keeping children home if they have a respiratory infection. My Dd has a cold and a mild cough currently, aibu to send her in to nursery? No temperature or vomiting so usually she’d go in no question.

We don’t have any family back up and we can’t take time off work to look after children that are well enough to go to nursery so we’re going to have to send her in. Should I mention it to the staff tomorrow when I drop her off or just send her in and don't say anything?

I'm sorry but I would. You can't keep them off for every cough and sneeze. If they're well enough to go then go. It may sound harsh but why should other dcs miss out on education/ play or whatever because someone is vulnerable. That's down to the vulnerable child's parents to keep them off. ( one of my dcs is vulnerable and I would never expect anyone not to send their dc to nursery in case my dc caught anything)

Id send them in. You can’t cater to another child and the nursery shouldn’t expect you to! It’s down to the parents.

Yes this is my thinking. I’m going to have to send her in because of work, and I don’t want her to miss out when she’s not too unwell to go in.

I’d send her but speak to them. It will be for the other parents to decide if they want to keep their child off. Kids in nursery have colds all the time and not reasonable to keep them off every sniffle

Do all other parents get a discounted rate then for having to be overly cautious as a result of this kid?

No? Send dc in.

Nope no mention of a discount. I don’t know what they’re thinking as most people need nursery so they can work so no idea who can just keep their child off for a cold. I have 2 DCs and they get colds all the time.

I’m also worried they’ll question me bringing her in and ask me if I can take her home, I don’t know what to say.

I would complain to the manager and say it’s unreasonable to expect this kind of allowance for another child. Probably a cop out to have less children in

I would tell the nursery that your child has a sniffle, but that you can't afford to pay for their place and stay home (with no pay) to look after your child. See what they say!! Like it isn't fair, and I would have thought that potentially losing one child by saying they couldn't promise there won't be mildly ill children there, is better than losing lots whose parents can't cope with having no childcare at the slightest sign of illness. However if I ran the nursery and one of the kids was diagnosed with something horrible, (cancer?) it would break my heart to say they couldn't come and play at nursery anymore, so I can well imagine the "gut" answer might be to say no unwell children, however mild.

It seems that nursery isn't really a practical option for that child. It's a childcare facility and people can't keep their DC off for every cold.

Could it be that they are trying hard to think through a situation where they don't want to banish a very sick child from a place they feel safe and push that child's family further into poverty?

My LO started nursery 2 months ago, she’s had a cold and cough virtually every week since she’s been there, I have to work so couldn’t possibly keep her at home to protect another child as I wouldn’t be able to work and my bills wouldn’t get paid. I can’t believe this has been suggested. Definitely send your LO in and maybe just mention she’s a bit off it. Agree with PP, it’s up to the other parents to decide if they want their vulnerable child in or not, surely.

It’s really sad for the other child but the nursery has to cater for the majority. I would send your child in but query the plan going forward for the vulnerable child, as keeping children off isn’t going to be sustainable.

YANBU - mine have colds more often than they dont. As do all the other kids.

The parents of the other child should think about a more suitable setting if they are that vulnerable (child minder?)

Come winter they are at best going to get a shock, at worst a very sick child.

Maybe but it’s not going to work for this nursery. I think I’m just going to have to send my dd in and maybe mention it to the staff that she has a cold in case they want to let the other family know so they can decide to keep their Dc off or not.

When ds2 was little there was a little girl at the same baby group/preschool who was vulnerable, she had Edwards syndrome. We were told the same as you, that we needed to keep our children off if they had a cold or been exposed to chicken pox. Which we all did willingly. There was a lot less money involved than a private nursery though and i didn't need the childcare.

That’s the thing, this nursery is timed at work n parents and costs over £80 a day. Everyone here needs the childcare. We can’t afford to take unpaid time off for every cold or cough and still pay for the nursery.

I have two kids who suffer really badly with respiratory infections. No idea why but ordinary colds really floor them, especially the younger who is susceptible to croup.

I get a bit pissed off when clearly very unwell kids are sent in but normal colds? My tough luck to deal with.

I think it’s fine for them to ask but absolutely not fine to make you feel guilty.

So its fine to push other people into poverty?

As someone with a child that can end up in hospital from illnesses, i still dont think your being unreasonable. If it was the flu then yes keep her off, but you cant take time off every single cold - and they’ll get many over the years!

We had this message when one of DD's classmates at pre-school was being treated for cancer. Really difficult situation - in the end the child only came in on warm days when the children spent pretty much all day outside so there was less risk (and when she was a bit stronger too).

I'd send her in and would refuse to take her home if asked. Mind you I've never used a nursery so don't know if that's an option.

Why should you suffer the inconvenience and loss of pay because of someone else's child? I know it's harsh but that's their parent's job, not yours. They can't expect strangers to waste money on a days childcare and also miss out on a days wages because of someone else's health condition.

If your child with a supposedly healthy immune system is off enough to "push you into poverty" you probably ought to get them checked out, especially if their main contact with other children is somewhere where the kids aren't allowed if they are sick.

The point here though is that they wouldn't usually be off. I have one DC in nursery and one in school, between them they often have colds, particularly in winter. We pay over £1k a month for nursery, and if I have to take unpaid leave to look after a child with a cold I'd lose around £180 a day in take home pay. So no we can't afford to keep our DC off if she had a cold, and we won't be doing this.

God that’s difficult but ultimately, really impractical. What about the staff? I frequently caught colds when I worked in a nursery but was I paid for sick days? Was a I bollocks. So there’s no way I could afford to stay off with a minor cold, and actually the nursery couldn’t have managed that either, even with the support of bank staff they were always struggling to have enough qualified people in the room. I feel for the child and their patents, really, but unfortunately it doesn’t sound like a nursery environment is the best place for them.