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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD was being bullied by her 'bestie'

5 replies

PTKI · 15/07/2025 17:10

Feeling really disappointed and upset at the moment. My daughter has been repeatedly hurt by someone she considered her best friend. I initially approached the girl's mum — someone I thought I had a good friendship with — hoping we could talk things through and resolve it. Instead, she made excuses for her daughter's behaviour.

When the bullying happened again and I witnessed it myself, I brought it up once more, thinking surely this time it would be taken seriously. But again, more excuses.

Now, not only has nothing changed, but the tables have turned — their family is acting like we’re the problem. The mum has started excluding my daughter from playdates and has made it painfully clear where her loyalties lie. It's been upsetting to watch someone I’ve supported in so many ways — school runs, dinners, help with both her children — completely turn on us, especially when all I wanted was to protect my child and find a solution.

Is it unreasonable to be completely done with this dynamic? Because right now, I feel like cutting all communication and no longer being available to people who clearly don’t value or respect us.

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 15/07/2025 17:16

How old are the girls? I'd definitely be minimising contact with the other family and encouraging your DD to hang out with someone else. Whether she will listen or not probably depends on her age though.

FrangipaniBlue · 15/07/2025 17:19

Why would you expect your DD to be invited on play dates by a girl who is not only mean to her but who you’ve actively called out on it?

MyCyanReader · 15/07/2025 17:21

What do you mean by bullying? What sort of stuff? How old are they?

AmIJustAnUnreasonsbleBitch · 15/07/2025 17:24

Oh OP, we're going through something similar right now and its really upsetting.

Wash your hands of them and move on.

Assuming your child is school age, the holidays are coming up and will provide a buffer. Hold your own playdates with some kinder friends.

AmIJustAnUnreasonsbleBitch · 15/07/2025 17:30

By the way, I did the same thing and approached the mother who'd been a close friend; I might as well have branded her child a demon for the reaction I got! I've since learned this approach rarely goes down well, becasue their precious little darlings are never in the wrong (which is probably why they behave like shits in the first place).

I won't be doing that again and neither will I become too friendly with the parents again.

It's a harsh lesson to learn 😞

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